Page 1 of Being British Is...

the Ant and the Grasshopper Fable:

CLASSIC VERSION

the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he`s a fool and dances and plays the summer away.

come winter the ant is warm and well fed

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION

the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he`s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away

come winter the ant is warm and well fed

so far so good eh?

the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in Hampstead with a table laden with food. The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Liberal Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites with Starving Babies Party, the Single Lesbian Mothers Party and the Coalition Against Povery demonstrate in front of the ants house. The BBC interrupting a Rastafarian cultural festival from Grimsby with breaking news, broadcasts them singing ` We Shall Overcome...`.

Ken Livingstone laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has got rich off the backs of grasshoppers and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his `fair share` . In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the begining of the summer.

The ants taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council.

The ant moves to France, and starts a successful AgriBiz company (funded by the EU) - although within weeks his business is threatened with Compulsory Purchase by the state unless he marries a French ant.

The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ants food, though spring is till months away, while the government house he is in, which just happensto be ants old house, crumbles around him because he hasn`t bothered to maintain it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Guardian blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britains multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana growing operation and terrorize the community.

THE END

pathetic

Strange parallels of a warped mind :/

i`m not saying a lot of asylum seekers aren`t taking the p***, but such a broad generalisation is purely worthy of the BNP minded cretins.

FFS AMG.

Ignoring the bile masquerading as humour I am as proud as punch to be British.
I am equally proud to also class myself as Scottish.
Again I am equally proud to be descended from Romany stock, Great granny, so I am from an immigrant family that appear to be reviled by your good self.

Yes there is nothing like a well thought out and witty post and, sorry mate, your post is nothing like a well thought out and witty post.

To think I was going to bang the next few A1GP races on to a DVD for you as well :)

Choagy FFCUK The SPL Neil Scally Is A God :)

This item was edited on Monday, 23rd January 2006, 20:15

Very poor show, AMG. Very poor

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Quote:
but such a broad generalisation is purely worthy of the BNP minded cretins
...and there again ends any chance of a debate on what is a serious issue. He cuts and pastes a humourous online passage and he indirectly gets branded a racist.
Your tone fuels the BNP and alike because any open discussion is stifled...the only place it can be discussed is at underground racist places.

It`s a joke, if you don`t find it funny or disagree then that`s one of those things.

Neil.

I thought it was hilarious :D

_____________________________________________________

Your tone fuels the BNP and alike because any open discussion is stifled...the only place it can be discussed is at underground racist places.


utter rubbish, if discussion is stifled by my comment how did you manage to reply :/ personally i think the post does border on the racist, how else should it be looked on ?? try giving a real opinion instead of posting indirectly, what is YOUR opinion on the original post ?

or am i stifling your ability to read & type :¦

This item was edited on Monday, 23rd January 2006, 22:25

Relax guys, I didn`t write it up, I did post it. Don`t take it too personally.

Sheesh!

AMG :)

Do you want the next few A1GP races m8 :)

NP if you do. I will put two sprint/feature races on each disc and record it at the four hour setting. Not DVD quality but still watchable :) or I could do each meeting one on a DVD/RW and you can transfer them to a DVDR and send it back.

Choagy FFCUK The SPL Neil Scally Is A God :D

This item was edited on Monday, 23rd January 2006, 22:44