Page 1 of The Incredibles (Mild Spoilers)

First off, this isn't your usual Disney/Pixar fare. People die in this flick.Really die. Get sucked into jet engines, get blown up by the heroes. Die. for real.

well, not real, but you know what I mean.

I don't think I'll be spoiling anything if I mention we first meet Mr Incredible on his way to wed Elastigirl, stopping bank robberies, foiling suicide attempts, saving the lives of a train load of people and getting a cat out of a tree. Unfortunately, and probably realistically, Mr I gets his ass sued by the Suicidee, then the train load of people. This leads to many lawsuits being filed against the Superheroes, and as the Govt pays to clean up after them, they find it cheaper to put the heroes underground, to give up the life-saving stuff and go and live their boring, alter-ego lives in hiding.

So, we meet Bob Parr, formerly Mr Incredible (Craig T Nelson) sitting behind his tiny desk in an insurance firm rotting away. At home, Helen/Elastigirl (Holly Hunter) is the quiet housewife, trying to rein in her typical kids-who-also-have-super powers Dash & Violet.

The incredibles are fantastic in their initial absurdity. Bob, once a fine specimen of superhero-dom is now, well, you've seen the teaser trailer with the belt? Imagine that jogging through a tropical forest in a skin-tight blue lycra body suit. My god, it's the blobbendales all over again. Helen simply has the hugest ass I've seen on any woman, Human or Hero. The kids are, well, kids. Violet is incredibly shy around boys, but has a habit of turning invisible whenever one looks at her. Also appears to ber a bit of a goth. But as most goths are hot chicks with too much make-up, let's not hold that against her. Dash is playing up as school. His parents won't let him go out for sports as he'd quite frankly p*** all over the opposition, but as they're trying to keep a low profile, he's burning off all his energy by hacking off the teachers at sub-light speed.

In an attempt to escape from the drudgery of civilian life, Bob and old hero buddy Frozone (a criminally underused Sam L Jackson) spend their evenings listening to the police scanner, waiting for the chance to re-live the old glory days. Something Helen isn't too fond of as she's only just got her family settled into their new home after they were relocated as a result of Bob's last 'glory day'.

Enter Mirage, an unsettlingly attractive CGI-chick, who offers Bob a chance to dust off his old suit and get paid three times his annual salary into the bargain (which is handy, as he just got fired for.... nope, won't spoil it). All he has to do is fly to a remote island (with a volcano - mwa-ha-ha-ha) and recover a large-ish robot who's got too big for his A.I. boots.

Hokay, won't go into too much more detail, or I'd just be writing a Disney read-along book. This is such a departure from the usual Pixar movie that it's quite tricky to judge alongside TS, aBL, FN etc. For one thing, it features humans, rather than toys, fish etc, and it takes a bit of getting used to. The voice actors are bang on. Particular credit to Jason Lee, who reinvents Brodie for the part of Syndrome/Baddie, the arch nemesis (in his mind) of The Incredibles. Obsessing over superheroes since childhood, his brilliant inventing mind swiftly turns to evil after his attempt to be Mr Incredible's sidekick is rejected.

Elisabeth Pena as Mirage is actually quite disturbing. Pixar have got so good at this I'm half expecting Mirage 'Fakes' to start showing up on the newsgroups. She realy is rather smashing.

The film is slow to start initially, and I can well imagine bored brats in the cinemas playing up within the first 20 minutes or so. Thankfully when the film does get going, it rarely lets up. There are several scenes of note, but a few things I found stood out in my mind. When Helen & the kids are in the water, Pixar have got Helen's hair and skin texturebang on. It's so realistic it's almost like watching an animated doll on screen. Also, there's a scene where Bob is hacking into Syndrome's Computer while Helen is finding out what Bob's actually been up to. The editing, camera and angles, all spliced together, is one of the most breathtaking pieces of cinema I've seen in a long time, particularly the final 3 seconds. And I don't often use the word 'breathtaking' in movie reviews.

Is it the best pixar film? Yup, IMHO, purely for the reason TS is looking a little dated now. Sure it was wonderful and revolutionary in it's time, but CGI isn't the innovation it once was. Even the BBC is using it in it's kid's programmes now, FFS. Now all we have to do is wait for them to finish Cars. Then, unrestrained from the Disney leash, we can see what Pixar can really do...

Oh yeah, can`t forget Edna, voiced by Director Brad Bird, a fashion designer who also craves for the good ol` days...


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I ate what?


My Collection

There`s a fanatical religious website from America called crosswalk, as well as preaching all kinds of right wing bollocks, they also review movies, and it so funny what they find shocking.

This is what they found "objectional" in The Incredibles

OBJECTIONABLE CONTENT

Drugs/Alcohol Content: A character sips on a flute of champagne in one scene.

Language/Profanity: Three mild obscenities ("Oh my God!").

Sexual Content/Nudity: Married adults kiss romantically in several scenes; sexy female character crosses and uncrosses her legs and sashays across room; teenage girl has crush on teenage boy, who eventually asks her out on a date.

So if all you lot find the above offensive, I suggest you avoid this movie at all costs. ;)

floyd

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

DVD collection & WANTED list

Oh my Jesus Christ! My soul is tainted forever! I need cleansing, can someone find me a crucifix?

You`d think, with all the crap going on with the world, these wastes of space could find something realistic to complain about..

`Married adults kiss`? So would they prefer an unmarried couple? How about unmarried kids kissing? Teenage girl has crush? No s***!!! It`s called real life, live with it

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I ate what?


My Collection

Quote:
Crosswalk.com is a proud member of the Salem Web Network

Carrying on a fine noble tradition.

In fairness to Crosswalk, this is their final verdict on The Incredibles:

All in all, "The Incredibles" is a great ride which will merely serve to bolster the already-sterling reputation of a studio that has produced many excellent animated hits.

What they are doing is noting anything and everything that could possibly be considered offensive in any shape or form. However, they do then take an overview taking everything into account.

Quote:
Crosswalk.com is a proud member of the Salem Web Network

Don`t tell me, they`ve a strapline that reads "Burning Witches Since 1685TM" :D

J Mark Oates

...but only if they weigh the same as a duck...

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I ate what?


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Finally got around to watching this tonight, and am sad to say that I am a bit disappointed with it.

The first hour really drags. The animation is great, but I think that they have concentrated too much on storyline, and not enough on the sight gags/slapstick that Shrek and Toy Story did so well.

Once the whole family is on the island and the real action starts, it picks up a lot and becomes a lot of fun. The last 15 minutes fighting the robot thingy are especially good.

It`s not a bad film by any means, but I think the main problem is that it is just too long at an hour and fifty minutes.

This is all IMHO of course and I reckon it is probably worth seeing just for the second half.

Don`t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

An hour and fifty minutes for an animation film? That`s positively epic. Personally I think it shows the animation studios are coming of age if they`re making movies of "proper" feature-length. I mean, how long has Disney fobbed off the viewer with movies that are only just over an hour in length?

J Mark Oates

Yeah, but I don`t think that animations at present can carry off such a long film. The novelty of the (admittedly brilliant) graphics wear off pretty quickly and then you are left with storyline and "acting".

They have tried to create a storyline with this film, and although it is more in depth than in previous animated films it still isn`t enough to carry a whole, full length movie.

The characters/voices/actors are good, but not great. Apart from Dash (the son), none of them are particularly endearing. Samuel L Jackson`s Frozone stands out as one of the best characters, but he was stuck on the sidelines only appearing at the start and the end of the movie.

I`m not a huge super hero fan, so maybe people who are will get a lot more out of it, and it may appeal to kids (I`ve go no idea what they like), but I think that if your average Joe goes to see it expecting another Shrek or Toy Story, they may leave the theatre feeling a bit disapointed.

Don`t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

DLAM, that`s all pretty much what I thought. Quite slow for the first half. So slow that I can see kids getting bored. And not enough jokes either. And Frozone isn`t in it enough. Great action-packed ending though..

Ste