Info and forum posts by 'mistah-wedding-deejay'

my BOWELS are full of OWLS : (

evil mu8 : (

as ive metnioned here before im an owl ethusiast OWLTHUSYAST if you will : D and i used to breed owls but not anymore m8 anyways my long time rival owl-breedder<knob> BARRY TWANGEN</knob> called me oiut of blue yesetrday anyways b5 i put the phone down on him he said he wanted to call a truce (wev e been FEUDIN for 20 years now it reached a peek lasy year when he started putting posters up in my town BESIMRCHING THE NAME OF MAURON SCHILLIB so i retaliated by trying to get nudey picutres of his wife [MAN] and trying to blow up his house anyway i ssort of said ok and he invited me rounf for dinner was hafl expecting to get poisoned [BARRY TWANGEN IN HIS LIVING ROOM WITH THE 6 YEAR OLD FISH FINGERS LOL ] anyway he wsa really nice etc and we had a slap up meal of what i tought was chicken - enjoyed every morsel : ) his wife was looking a bit tasty too but thats one bird i didnt get stuck into while at his house : (

tought wed made up and everything got home noticed my owlery (like a dog kennel but for owls and a perspex roof so they dont fly away tho they kppe flying into it lol) was empty then my mobile (NOKIA 3310) goes off miracle really battrey was dead from me playin SNAKE all day : ) it was barry turns out ive been KNOCKED AGAIN it wasnt bernard matthews finest turkeys id gobbled it was my VERY OWN OWLS : ( ( ( : ( : ( (

barrys evil; smug laugh thru the daleky 1 bar recpetion of my NOKIA 3310 (that also has a tennis game on it but don,t know the name) is a stak reminder to NEVER LEAVE YOUR PETS UNOWLTENDED or EVER EAT AT THE TWANGEN HOUSEHOLD : ( : ( : (

i did sort of get my own back tho while in the toilet i did anice big poo aqnd didnt use the toilet brush (if only i know i wsa makin ROOM FOR MY OWN OWLS in my gut i would off smeared it all up the walls paddy in a 70s prison style ) also i went thru her underwear draw not convinced shes not a man tho as shes got big hands

WARS BACK ON LADS : S

RE: Your most memorable romantic encounter

not sure if it,d be described as romantic but certainly an encounter

i come home early from a gig i was playing at as i was feeling unwell i let my dj m8 will finish things off so i left the van with him so my wife wouldnt of heard me drive up

i was very ginger coming into the house as i was naseous i went straghit upstairs and found my wife doing one of my (now ex!!!!) swiss m8s with a strap on toblerone!!! : ( absoutely DISGUSTING imo my marraige collapsed soon after

RE: Well done Woolies

ikea for pedos m8 imo too right they were taken off off the shelves

RE: Jeremy Beadle RIP

RE: Phew! Everything is ok!! The wife & I are so relieved....!!

wicked news m8 glad evrythings ok

regards mauron

RE: Choagy has left the building............... :-(

RE: POLL: Do I tell my eight year old I`m Santa

i,d say tell him or her now m8 one of the lads i used to woirk with didnt tell his s0n until the age of 9, one christmas he heard a noise downstairs he went down to see dad smashing santas face in the patio doors : SS it wasnt santa tho it was a burglar : D it took a lot of trips to teh school pychriatsit b4 he slept again ; )

my m89 at work was a big bloke though

RE: Tent advice.

Quote:
Was looking at the 4 man tornado.

???

RE: Tent advice.

deff0 advise one with a pole : ) when my son was camping with the cubs the cubmaster bought everything but te support poles : S they propped up 2 with some decent branches they found (in the middle of nowhere) the other tent and the cubmasters tent had to have the cloth right on top of them we werent happy at the bloke when we saw him next : S funny enough i was with my m8 in scotland 2 yrs ago camping he forgot the support thing with his tent too we had to use a branch he said i said he can shove it up his arse

regards mauron

RE: ur favrouite hat

ps ive got a bobble hat as wlle but its more for practical uses i.e. wehn its cold rather tan fashion regards mauron

ur favrouite hat

me not a hat man myself but i do likd a baseball cap ive got that was signed in 1989 by pat sharp melanie and martina (im a pat fan : D...)

what do you like to put on your head? : )_

RE: Now i`m totally p***ed off

Quote:
ll u need to do is put some carpet gripper sticks on top off ur wall use no nails to glue it one and get some dog crap and gives a nasty cut and infection

worked on chavs trying to nick my bike

mmm chocolate
Click here to reply to this message

too right my m8 had the same thing what he did was he caught one of the lads tryin to nick his bike (had 2 nicked before) so he smashed the lads face in with a piece of lead pipe

not as good as ur st0ry tho : SSS

RE: Answer a Personnel Question, then add your own.... ( Your Turn )

probbly not m8

how many times has ur hairy back been on the reagonal news???

me? 3 : D

RE: POLL: best crisps ever

i like anyth1n thats RIDGED : )

OWLT OF 0RDER M8 : S : S : S : ) : ) :&lt;) : d

FUMIN M8

i,ve recelnty entered my pet owl tarquin in t3h 2007 north eastren OWL CHAMPIONSHIPS (1t,s bassiccally a competion wehre owls are judged on there coat, th3re talons, there eyes therre flyin skllis etc)

anyw\auy my arch nemesis sunderland owl breeder BARRY TWANGEN hsa been BESMIRCHING t3h name of me and my owl in ord3r to aGAIN THE UPPER HAND he,s scared m7 he nows tarquin is t3h pick of t litter of owls but he,s resorting to DIRTY TACTICS he,s put out all ads in t3h classifieds of the milkonshire record (my loxcal rag) with my name on sayin i,m a underpar owl breeder etc BOLLOCKS M8 LAEVE T3h OWLS OUT OF IT OUT OF ORDER M8 and hes also run a advert1sing campaign by saatchi and saatchi on regional tv sayin how i keep my owls locked up all t3h time and feed them cheap cat food LIES M8 BACK IT UP W// FACTS M8 : E REason he cna affod it is he cumms f/ a w3althy background : S

ive nfound out a juicy bit of information thru my survyeillanse of his house, the twangen estatwe : )

1) his fifty-twoi year old dolly bird has nice jugs (seen her in t3h nshower from my telegraph pole VANTAGE POINT : )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
2) she,s fifty --two
3) he has no sense of smnell after falling off a bucking bronco at a gyppo fair 12 yrs ago

so i,ve cum up w/ a FIENDISH PLAN : PPP

1) spy on his wife, takle pictures and put them in readers wives but with `barry twangen is a twat` on her jugs : ) PHOTOSHOPPED : ))))p
2) wait til shes out on a tuesday at her part time job tehn run his big hose from his gas pipe outlet by t3h owlhouse and lead it thru the owlhouse leaking and into his house... three hours later he,ll light his dinnertime cigar and BOOOOMMMM t3h evil barry twangen and all his OWLS are dead and it,ll look all like an ACCIDENT tho i must take down that 20-foot saatchi ++ sattchi `MAURON IS A TWAT FROM BARRY` poster up by the M1 J3 as it cuold be seen as a moitive : S

itll be like a buncefield of OWWLLS : ))))))))))

RE: I`ve just been banned from a forum

wellcome to my world M8 i,ve been bannde from a few forrums in my time : S

mostl;y inovlvling my OWL, music and wedding dj SILLNESS : ) : P : P : ) : : L:K< :

regards, mauron : )

RE: Fake me. Warning. The Real Dr 42%er MD.

0Mg m8 takes teh P*** m8 : ( : ( : ( : (

fake PPL should not be allwowed on this SITE
tahts out of order ; )

regards, mauron

MANKY M8

i was cleaning out teh gutters on my shed today, put my had in a dead pigoens GUTS : S discusting : ( i took my gloves off cos i was trinf to handle my power drill (putting in a aerial) didnt put em back cos i thought id got it all except some leaves (I THOUGHT!!!) at teh end

nasty... three washes in hard cleaning products... and keep remebreming that icky feeling : S

what have you done today : )

RE: Wedding Music??

HI M8 congrats 0n getting wdedded M8, hope she looks nice ; ) or i suposse if your gay, that he has a nice car : S
seriuosly my names mauron and i used to own a WEDDING DJ buisness up til a couple off years ago but not now : S still got all my stuff eg mixer mics tape machines etc plus lots and lots of CDS i downloaded and burnt if i find them (in teh attic) ill copy you em

REGARDS, MAURON : ) : ) : ) : )

RE: How long is Arsenal Henry banned for ? or is it permanent

l0l you lot take teh P*** lads : P : )

alright, tehn you NOBENDS : P i,m HERE i,m QUEER (tho im not im strasight m8 no mens bums f0r me ; P....) and i, m callin you lot er...

um... tell m3 lads waht ryhmes with `queer` but means bad? : S

im off for now lads ive got some SAUSAGES on terh pan (supper) in the mentime pls post in my forum tks

Hi lads :) not been here awhile just wondering wahts up :):)

just wonderin how you all are : )

me? ive been ok i soppose 1ve been watch1n my local footy teAm teh milkonsh1re boys get TRASHED by the chipton chipmunks : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ( : ) : ) : ( : (

oh well... it was real end to end stUff :) nobby jenkins of the chipmunks got his skull fractured and there goalie had h1s hand broken :: ) :

but sayin that tho our striker tarquin `animal mother kill` doyle got the red card : ( : (

oh well maybe nExt t1me... there plAy1n the chocolate orange rangErs next w33k (there a works team who woRk f0r terrys lol)

ill be there at teh touchlines, wavin me littlE flag : O ) : L ) : ) : P : P ) : P ) P : P ) P : P )

ShAbBa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111

This item was edited on Friday, 28th October 2005, 22:55

RE: Genesis - Gabriel era.

best era f0r me is phil collins era, he did a lot of good lyrics and singing plus his solo stuff eg in the air tonite and another day in paradise which was about poor people he saw in other countries was good ive got most off his stuff on cd io downloaded off the web

regards mauron

RE: MODS - Threatening e-mail from DVD Reviewer User....

at tegh end 0f teh day m8 it does sort of take the p1ss joing up and been nasty to some1 just cos you,ve got a beef or something : (

saying that th0 revenge is sweet when its a dish s3rved cold... like in 1997 wehn i divorced my WIFE : ) (bitch hore ) and then a couple of years later wehn i keyed my local preists car (i didn,t even get the blame ,cos he was nobbin some1 else wife who was a gangster they thought it was him : )

they also blamed him gettin shot dead outside the church on thaty bl0kwe too but it was him (they found the gun at his house) hes in prison now : ) it was in teh papers

regards, mauron

RE: JRS I Need to speak Private withe You. I Can no longer Be A Liar

LOL1!!!!!!

hi lads and laddetes 1t,s me, MAURON OF SCHILLIBSHIRE : ) : P : ) : ) : P : P

i like the way you boghut teh preist in your home and he was black that was good

i was a bit racist for a wh1le wehn my exwife (bitchwhore : ( : ( : )...) went with my local preisT who ws black (got my revence tough i keyed his car.... wiht the big brass key from the church confessional d00r : ) (was such a big scrath he had to g3t a new wing 2 dors and a bonnet : )..................)

but after wards (couple of years) there was this indian lad who ran a sh0p near me i tought he was a bit weird at first ,cos off his accent but he,s one of my m8s now hes called ali or something

regards, mauron.

RE: LOBSTERD!!!

im 56 : (

RE: I,m back : )

[quote][James.. please f*** off/quote]

hey m8 at teh end of the day m8 telling pepole t0 f*** off is TAKING THE P*** M8

dunno who james is anyway : )

I,m back : )

miss me ?

LOBSTERD!!!

lol my mate and my other mate and me were sunbathing yesterday but my m8 who isn,t relly used to it got absloutely SUNBURNT!!! we laughed... he was really sore standing up so what we did was me and my other m8 we got 2 really coarse towels from his car and pushed him to the floor and rubbed him LOADS all over his body with the towel shouting LOBSTER!!!!!! LOBSTER!!!!

Did you go oUt this weekend??? : ) : ) : ) : )

WHAT UPSETS YOU TO SEE????

me i would say seiing a woman with a black eye

YOU??

RE: Was Nina genuine poll....

as geunine aS me : P : ) : ) : () p ) : )

regards maur0n