Page 1 of why?

especially for nickthegun... :p

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn`t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn`t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It`s all right?" Well, it isn`t all right, so why don`t we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that`s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVOURITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they`re okay, then it`s you




`i am going to live forever or die trying`

Why is there a sky advert covering the top right hand side of ya thread ?

This item was edited on Wednesday, 22nd February 2006, 17:50

Why use one word when many more will prove to be adequately sufficient


SHEPHERDS PIEEEEEEEE
Y.N.W.A
"TIGHT"

Why is dyslexia hard to spell? :/

Why do birds suddenly appear...?

julianf

never wear a seal hat to the zoo

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This item was edited on Wednesday, 22nd February 2006, 18:44

does the world keep on turning?

Sue Davies

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:) News Editor and Site Reviewer
DVD Reviewer

Why do shops that are open 24 hours have lockable doors?

Quote:
> Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Human nature, if we don`t keep trying things nothing would ever have been invented.

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Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

so they can claim £6.3bn in profit.

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Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

They don`t, but it would take too long to count. Now the paint they can check.

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Why doesn`t glue stick to the bottle?

Chemical reactions.

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Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Nobody makes unsterilised needles.

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Why doesn`t Tarzan have a beard?

Willing suspence of disbelief. Also Jane complained about scratchyness.

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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Superman isn`t real. Maybe it was Christopher Reeve that ducked.

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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Well, helmetsprotect your head, so the pilot wouldn`t be much good if he died from a head injury before he managed to crash his plane.

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Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

No idea.

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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

people didn`t eveolve from any apes alive today.

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Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

The film of a bubble is too thin to reflect a solid colour, but some clever git (see remote control question) has figured it out. http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/0a03b5108e097010vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html

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Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

I didn`t see any mattreses for sale today, therefore there were none on sale.

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Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

See remote control question.

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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

See refridgerator question.

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Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

No, i think thats just you.

Quote:
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

They aren`t enclosed.

Quote:
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It`s all right?" Well, it isn`t all right, so why don`t we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Politeness.

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Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that`s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Clumsiness.

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In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

My house is cool in summer and comfortable in winter.

Quote:
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Quote:
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they`re okay, then it`s you

Lies, Damn lies and statistics.

Okay not all answered perfectly, but it was worth a try.

This space for sale





. <--- Except this bit, its mine.

Hehe, almost exactly what I was about to post! :D

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www.soundalikes.com/

Quote:
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Try leaving food in there long enough and something else will materialize.
Edible but maybe not tasty


Cats always land on their feet

Toast always lands butterside down

What happens if you strap a slice of toast to the back of a cat and chuck it out of the window?



Snaps

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When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse

This item was edited on Wednesday, 22nd February 2006, 22:28