Page 1 of Christmas Invasion: So who was burgled Christmas Day?

Twas a Christmas night and nothing was stirring...there I was back in my flat at 1am, after spending a nice Christmas day with my parents. Rolled a lovely spliff and had a large bottle of Smirnoff Ice ready to wash it down. Then came the thuds. Several loud thuds at the back of the house. Initially I put it down to someone coming home p***ed. But they got louder. Off to the bedroom to suss it out. As I entered the bedroom, more thuds and then a loud CRASH, which of course stopped me in my tracks with that WTF? look on my face. I peeked out from beneath the curtains: two twenty-something gentlemen in dark clothes trying to hammer their way into the flat behind me. Okay. Christmas night fellas?!! Don`t you have yer own homes to go to?!!

I disconnected my modem to plug in the landline and call the police (why I didnt use my cell phone I don`t know). While I`m giving the skinny to the cops, louder thuds come from my bedroom then another CRASH as MY window goes in. The police hear this on the line. Live Crime on the airwaves! "We`re on our way." I`m told. First things first: hide the drugs. I stash my recreational doobie and grab the baseball bat I bought for this very occassion but thought I`d never have to use. All was quiet now. Within 3 minutes two squad cars sped up to my house (the station is only a few streets away), two groups of Garda ran in different directions. I unlocked my door and went outside - sans baseball bat. Then the detectives arrived - Christmas is a slow night one would imagine. While I`m giving the Garda the lowdown, the army arrive. Yes, the Army! An Irish army patrol jeep with four armed troopers - Jazus, 10 minutes ago I was alone with my Smirnoff and spliff, about to watch R1 Sin City special edition on my home theatre and now I`m surrounded! Anyway, they exchange words with the police and are on their way - Christmas being a slow night for the armed forces too it seems.

They nab one of the burglers, who has badly cut himself on my window leaving it covered in blood. (it`s double glazzed - he only got through one pane) And soon enough all is quiet, I`m back on my couch alone in desperate need of a doobie and a stiff drink.

Dang, what a night.

Well, at least they caught one of them, and he hurt himself(!), more importantly at least they only smashed one pane of glass leaving you in semi-warmth over the christmas period cause calling a window fitter on christmas day would have cost an arm and a leg!

Suppose you can`t really moan at 2 panda`s and the army turning up!, At least your taxes are paying for it when you need it most lmfao.

no, i`m not labour or anything, before the moans start!

... and that kiddies is what happens when you smoke dope - you get all paranoid and start hallucinating ;)



The Bigman Cometh

Well, this is the thing, I hadn`t smoked anything. I hadnt even drunk any alcohol, as I was driving. I was about to do both in the comfort of my own home! This was stone cold sober reality. Yeah, two Garda cars and the army: definitely got value on my taxes that night.

+ 1 for owning a baseball bat
+ 1 for willingness to use it
- 1 for drug use
-20 for drinking Smirnoff Ice
+ 20 for owning Sin City R1 SE.

This item was edited on Tuesday, 3rd January 2006, 07:49

and what has happened to them since?



`I am going to live forever, or die trying`...

Hi markey

Might I make a small suggestion that you keep a few ball`s ( pardon the pun ) with the baseball bat, as that way should you be accused of GBH, you could alway`s say that you kept the bat for games......... ( Just a thought !? )

Bad luck Markey...At least they didn`t get in or nick anything!

Keep smiling...and just remember one of the b*****s cut himself on your flat! hee hee

I also agree with the "get some balls to keep with the bat comment", that way, if you ever need to use it, it was there for a valid reason, not just to beat c**p out of people!

This item was edited on Wednesday, 4th January 2006, 21:15