Page 1 of Xmas Joke

Got this emailed today, call me sick but its hilarious.....


Paul McCartney goes Christmas shopping in London. He buys Heather a new artificial
leg, which he has wrapped, before taking it home and hides it in a cupboard.

However, Heather discovered the present only a couple of days later and unwrapped it.
She likes the new leg, but was worried she`s spoilet the surprise of her Christmas present.

"Relax", said Paul, "that was just your
stocking filler."

Why does Santa have such a crap sex life?

Cos he only comes once a year, and when he does, it`s down the chimney.... (sorry)

Bloke goes to the doctor with a mince pie up his arse. The doctor says "I`ve got some cream for that"

What`s got three legs and lives on a farm?








The McCartney`s!
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"There are things known and there are things unknown, and inbetween are the doors."

My Top 20 Movies
My 58 Strong DVD collection

ok, its an old one but a classic:


whats father christmas` wife`s name??
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Merry Christmas [ Mary - get it!!! ] ha ha





KaTz

Why are brussel sprouts like pubic hairs?









You just push them to one side and carry on eating!

Santa looks out of the window at the weather. Calls his wife over and says
"looks like Rain dear"..

boom boom

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If you play with Feathers you get your Bum Tickled.!

Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are having Christmas dinner before opening their gifts to each other.

Darth Vader: Luke - I know what you bought me for Christmas
Luke: But how?
DV: I felt your presents

Boom boom!

Why is a christmas tree better than a bloke?


It stays erect 12 days and nights,

has cute balls

& it looks good with the lights on!

floyd
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