Page 1 of Should you get married?

Should you get married?

Talking with an old friend tonight and he is adamant that although he loves children he will never settle down, marry and have children. He says he is just too selfish. In fact he is planning to split up with his current relationship in November so she can go off travelling. I believe when he meets the "right" woman he will want to settle down and it won't feel like a chore ?!

Anyway, it's got me thinking.

Is settling down still realistic? Or is it inevitable with a longer life expectancy that one partner for life isn't enough??? What is the "right" age (if any) to settle down?

Is there such a thing as "love" or "the one" or do you just make do with what you can find, and make it fit.

Please, there must be some happy non tainted people out there?

You should have watched How TV Ruined Your Life tonight.

Quote:
You should have watched How TV Ruined Your Life tonight.
if I watch it will it answer my dilemma?

I think if you have children then you should stick with one another, and if this means marrage, then so be it.

Marrage is supposed to be a commitment with ones wife, and unlike being `just partners` there is more of a deep bond, to remain together, and make more effort to be faithful to each other, and stick together no matter what is flung at you through life.

Marrage vows say "till death do we part", but if you find a real soul mate then you say to each other every year "tll death do we not part but meet again", That is real marrage.

I hate seeing splitups by partners and divorces when there are children involved, as they have made the effort to bring them into the world, then it should be there duty to see that they are cared for, till at least they are adult.

Unfortunately in the modern world with lots of bed hopping without moral fibre or commitment, there are too many step brothers, step daughters, step fathers and step mothers, which leads to anguish and dispair, sometime in their future. Ok for some it works, but their moral attitude to partnership, commitment and marrage can be negative.

Even a fully married couple with children have problems rearing them, so it must be much harder when there is no moral or legal bond between partners, as it is far too easy just to get up and walk. But you will be forever walking away from responsibility.

Conclusion:
Its up to you whether you feel you want the commitment of marrage,ie, not divorcing at the first obsticle or rocky road in life. If you feel you can stick together for life and be happy, then go for it, but if you or your partner have doubts, then do not.

We all have doubts about settling down

Trouble is people are selfish and it`s all me me me

Want make a good relation is give and take

^^ +1 :)

Ste

Its good he is self aware and recognises that he is to selfish to share his live, unfortunately far to many people arent....

Your questions raise a few themselves....

Have you never felt that that person is the one for you?

As is mentioned, a good relationship is based on love, trust and mutual respect for eachother and is bloody hard work. Its seen as OK to walk away from a failing relationship and not try to salvage it.

I assume you havent had a long term relationship yet nor felt that you could spend the rest of your life with a person?

Im a soppy bugger and believe in love and soulmates

I`m a romantic too, I wouldn`t say I don`t believe in marriage because, well it`s clearly a thing, people are married, it must exist! That`s science fact!

I guess the problem with marriage for some people is that it means different things. Personally I see it is a public commitment that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. That is definitely a step beyond just moving in with someone.

I know other people see it as everything from a tax dodge to a waste of time because it doesn`t mean you actually will spend the rest of your life with that person. But they are all big meanies, imho.

And any marriage proposal that involves a pre-nup is just a big flashing warning sign to not do it!


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Quote:
That is definitely a step beyond just moving in with someone.

Isn`t moving in with someone a sign of committment or just a laugh

I didn`t way it wasn`t, but you don`t invite all your family and friends around for a big party, and then sign an agreement that states if things go wrong you have to do a tiny bit more than picking up your ball and going, "screw you guys, I`m going home"


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