Page 1 of Need help cooking my 18lb turkey!

Look got to cook this monster only trouble is it will take about 6-7 hours, which means I will have to get up a 5-30 to 6-30 on Christmas Morning to put it in the oven, okay you say go back bed but this is where the kids come into the equation they will hear me and want to open their Christmas prescents, so me thinks cook it over night trouble is what Gas mark setting so it`s ready for 12 noon! help! so what setting and what time to put in oven please!

Remember if I get up early I will be to tired to watch my DVD`S thatI hope somebody has bought me! plus I`m a lazy sod!

Wow! What a magnificent bird!

Dunno about cooking settings but here`s how to prepare it. As its the season of goodwill and peace on Earth chop both its feet off, rip out its innards, strip it, shove an onion up its arse and bung it in a very hot place for four hours until its completely burnt.

Slowly cooking a turkey that size overnight is probably not a good idea, the inner meat would be at a bacteria ideal temperature too long. I`d suggest delaying lunch until 2-00pm and getting it on for 8-00am covered in foil, rubbed with butter and the breast protected with strips of streaky bacon. Then put it at gas mark 7 for 30 mins, gas mark 3 for 5 hours, then take the foil off and gas mark 6 for 30 mins.

Dave

Bear, make sure you rub plenty of butter into the bird`s breast..................Mind you, when it comes to the turkey i`m lost. ;-)

...and make sure you take care of your giblets...

Thanks Dave will follow your suggestion...and has for the rest of you thanks for the laugh...now where`s that onion gone.

This item was edited on Monday, 24th December 2001, 22:53

So how`d it go with that turkey, bear?
And did you get some nice DVDs from Santa?

Dave

re: chop both its feet off, rip out its innards, strip it, shove an onion up its arse and bung it in a very hot place for four hours until its completely burnt.
When will Bottom (the series) )make it onto DVD.
---And another sprout.

Dunno but its my most wanted TV series to be released. C`mon BBC get on with it, and release Young Ones while your at it.

Bea will be too busy stuffing his fizzog with turkey sarnies, turkey curry, turkey rissoles, turkey broth etc, etc to talk to us for a few weeks yet folks.

I hope he gave the bird a good stuffing, etc, etc....