Page 1 of Two minute management course

Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven`t got the energy."
"Well, why don`t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They`re packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull s*** might get you to the top, but it won`t
keep you there.

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Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson:
(1) Not everyone who s***s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of s*** is your friend.
(3) And when you`re in deep s***, it`s best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two minute management course



Snaps

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When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse

Very true!!!!

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"So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."
- Christopher Reeve (1953-2004)

:D



`i am going to live forever or die trying`

Thank you for these wise words of wisdom. I shall carry them with me forever lol

Ray

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

haha, excellent thanks. 8)

I liked the first one about the Eagle and the Rabbit.

Here`s one (or the gist of it as I remember...)

Work is like a tree full of Monkeys, the management at the top, the workers at the bottom.
The management look down the tree and all they see are smiling faces looking back up at them.
The workers look up the tree and all they see are arseholes.....

LB2

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Have you tried switching it on........?