World Cup - LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World
Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be
totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don`tmind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to
take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door or answer the telephone, ....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between
12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don`t worry,
they`ll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend
time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don`t care if I have seen them or I haven`t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this...why don`t you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of
this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because
after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
`i am going to live forever or die trying` 
RE: World Cup - LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
RE: World Cup - LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
13. Especially my mum - don`t jinx the bloody game by saying the following "Ooh he looks nervous" in penalty shoot-outs.
--
www.soundalikes.com
RE: World Cup - LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
14 - Women don`t ever say the following phrases "They`re not playing very well, are they?" or "Who`s he, he`s cute" this will only irritate and cause Men to complain during Nip/Tuck and other Sh*te you want us to watch (from 12am to 6am)
RE: World Cup - LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN
15. Women. Don`t comment on grass/mud stains on players clothing. It doesn`t matter that the grass stain doesnt come out!
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