Page 1 of Dating - Male viewpoint required

Not sure if I`m going to regret asking you guys this, but anyway, here goes.

I went out on a date last week, and although he seems quite keen on me, my current feeling is "You`re a nice man, BUT ..."

I`ve agreed to go out on a second date, but should I

A) Just dump him now, save wasting time later

B) Be honest and let him decide

or C) Say nothing for now and see what happens ?

All my female friends have said (C), I just wondered what the male view was? (Sensible answers, if at all possible ;) )

From a male point of view, the reason he seems keen is maybe because you didn`t run away screaming at the end of the date. In men-speak, that means it was a rip-roaring success.

Go for the second date, and form an opinion then. On a first date, it`s tricky for a bloke not to wear a pleasing facade in an attempt to come across as witty and charming. The more you see this guy, the more his real character will reveal itself.

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Been nowhere
Done Nothing
Stole the T-shirt


My Collection

Is this someone who have known for a while?

If so..leave well alone, and try your best to stay friends. If anything happens it will hapen naturally rather than through a `a date`.

Remember that blokes actually have feelings as well, and if you have done the `used to be friends, and now it`s a bit more` routine, before the `it`s not you, it`s me` routine then that could be nasty.

If you`ve agreed to go out on a second date already, as you said you have done, then it all depends on how you parted after your first date. If you can still taste his breakfast from that morning then you may have made your point a little too strongly at that moment.

However, if you just want to be honest, then be honest...as it sounds as if you`re having fairly major second thoughts and if you don`t tell the truth as soon as you can then it will get much worse from here.

Whatever you do..don`t use the `I don`t want to hurt you` line, as that never makes sense to us, and when you start running off with off with other blokes after you`ve thrown yourself at someone else then that just causes a shedload of misogyny.

Best of luck.
:-)

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This item was edited on Monday, 6th June 2005, 21:14

not to sure if i understand this one :)

B) Be honest and let him decide

? you mean let him decide if YOU like him ? cos lets be honest thats all that really matters, if i where you i`d go for the second date then decide, but make sure you`re going somewhere that you want to go rather than a compromise between where each of you would choose to go, see how he fits in then maybe on a third date you could let him decide where to go.

bottom line, it`s you`re court, throw the ball wherever you want :D

Well, he`s not a friend, more a casual acquaintance (for want of a better description) and he asked me out, and I thought, "He seems nice, why not".

And whilst I didn`t run away screaming, I didn`t "taste his breakfast" either.

Second thoughts? Yes, and third and fourth :/ (mostly along the lines of "if I let this one get away, there may not be another one" /*disengages self-pity mode*)

Anyway, thanks for the input, option (C) it is then.

Yeah and if all goes well you could be making aswell as tasting his breakfast... ;-)

Ste

I thought it was the other way round now - isn`t the modern man supposed to make my breakfast? I must be more out of touch than I realised. ;)

This item was edited on Monday, 6th June 2005, 22:41

I`d go along with don`t waste his time or yours and don`t imagine he`ll be the last. Faint heart never won fair lad...There are better ways to spend your time than on a half hearted- `date`.
Give yourself some credit for your gut feeling-I`ve never been on a second date where their has been no spark. ( Although it has to be said its been a long time since I`ve dated anyone other than my husband-but that`s nice too!!)
Sue Davies

C) Say nothing for now and see what happens ?

I would always say that your first impression of someone is enough. Personally, I feel that I would know enough of someone from the first date to know whether I wanted to see them again. Even if I had been on a night out, and I was feeling a little worse for wear, I still think I`d be able to judge whether a girl was worth seeing again or not.

It might be worth you giving the guy one more chance, as he might suprise you, but I always think you`ll know from the first meeting whether this person will be worth it in the long run.

This is probably just a bunch of drunken rambling (just came back from a curry and a few beers) but I always go on gut feeling. How about posting a pic of the guy and getting RJS to do a poll on it? :p ;)