Page 1 of Im devastated and my heads in bits...

where do i begin... well first and foremost my girlfriend who i am deeply in love with has just finished with me after two years!!!.
heres the bizarre tale. id appreciate any thougths.
first i am 27 and she is 19, but age has never been a problem. both families had accepted this and truth beknown you wouldnt know there was an 8 year gap. everything was rosy. we are best friends and have done and been through so much together. we have done so many wondeful things from day trips in the uk to a big holiday in the usa last year. we were as close as i think you could be and i tell no lie in that we have NEVER had an arguement in the two years together. the only little problem was that about 12 months ago she was concerned we were doing the right thing and called it off. but then a day later we talked it throught and everything was ok again. but every relationship goes throught that sort of hiccup right? right thats the back story...
at the end of june she jetted off to new orleans for the summer just to gain experience of working away and to do a spot of travelling. i helped her prepare for it and was fully supportive of it, as after all id be here when she got back. at first things were normal, then 3 weeks into her trip she rang to say she was having doubts and finished it for the time being and wed see how things were when she gets back. this was completely out of the blue so it messed me up a lot. but then two weeks later she told me she was still in love with me and got back together. things were great again. then last sunday she told me she was having doubts again, then tuesday she finished it. she told me she doesnt `feel` anything anymore for me. she is due back next weekend (although BAs strike have messed that up) as we were due to go to a friends wedding.
its left at the moment that its over, but she is still gonna come to the wedding next week.
now the thing is, that this just doesnt add up. before she went everything is fantastic but then whilst shes away she loses all feelings for me. this is bizarre!! and this is whats messes me up the most. wed talked about marriage and kids etc even as far back as last week, but now bang thats it all over. i could understand if there was another fella, but there isnt!!! i find it so hard to accept that she doesnt feel anything for me anymore. the annoying thing is that everything shes said has been done mainly on MSN messenger and a bit on the phone which sucks big time. i think im at least owed an explanation face to face the reasons for it. i suppose deep down i want her to change her mind when she gets home back into everyday life and sees me in person. that maybe wishful thinking, but either way i want answers and i want her to look me in the eye. i think i deserve that much dont you...

This item was edited on Thursday, 19th August 2004, 22:03

Shake yourself elephant stone you gotta get a grip.
I went through the same devastation about 10 years ago i thought the world was against me.
Quote:
i could understand if there was another fella, but there isnt!!!
It seems like the classic time apart stuff ,sometimes you grow closer other times this happens.
I would wait till she gets back in the country and go for a quiet drink and talk things over with her BUT don`t get your hopes up cause if she`s made her mind up your gonna feel 100 times worse than you feel now.
You`ll be ok whatever happens (just give it time).
;)





(A.C.C Founder)

Dunno what to say that could help mate. You do deserve an explanation, anyone would, but unfortunately I don`t think you`re gonna get one or at least not a truthful one. Be careful because she may be confusing you on purpose and then she will blame you for it when you try to find answers from her. It is hard but if you walk away you will still have your pride, try to get your best mates to help you through this or better still a female friend, if she doesn`t really know her, or a female cousin.

Women, they fk you up, but you still want to fk them.

Take care

It is one of the worst pains I know of. It hurts! Truly awful.
What helped me through the devastation was to go on "holiday", that is, I got out of the country for a couple of weeks. Oddly, it helped me a great deal, and cleared the air a little.
Good luck, mate, truly pity the painful situation you are in.

I`m just 20 so you have another 8 years experience on top of me, but I reckon you will be best off without her.

She is still finding her way with relationships by the look of things. Maybe it would have worked better when she had gone through the naive stage already.

It`ll be hard, but you`ll get over her. Just go and get pished with the lads and you`ll soon have it forgotten!

Been there, done that , been back for more and so on ...... man .. women A !



Lovely to look at, lovely to touch ....... But try to work one out !!!



Coops

" women root of all evil "

Quote:
But try to work one out !!!

Nah, it`s really not worth the effort, they`ll only take it the wrong way ;)

ES

Sorry Bud but I think the best thing would be for you to simply accept that the relationship is over. That is never pleasant and while I agree that you would like answers I think that a face to face meeting might create a few more problems and cause a great deal more hurt in the long run.
I will try to explain how :/
I through my own experiences have seen all too often how these "Friendly discussions" or "Clear the air talks" can end up as full blown battles with each partner hurting the other far more than they really wanted to.
Each partner ends up saying things that would in all honesty have been better off unsaid and cause far more hurt than a simple goodbye ever could.

The other side of this equation is that sometimes when people are put in a position where they should be as honest as they possibly could be they end up saying what the other person wants to hear and remain in the relationship for a time after the "Talks".

Either way the end is the same, both partners go their own ways.

I feel for you, and your ex-partner, but in all honesty I would accept that the relationship is over .

I myself would also make alternative arrangements for attending the wedding of your friends.
Alcohol weddings and relationship problems do not mix, believe me I know to my cost :) .
If the friend is your friend then you go while your ex-partner stays away or if the friend is your ex-partners friend then she goes and you stay away. If the friends are mutual friends then again attend on your own. In the fullness of time your friends will understand and would probably thank you for removing what could be a possible problem at the wedding.

Sorry if the post makes little sense, like most of my posts :) but I sincerely hope things work themselves out in the coming weeks.

Choagy FFCUK The SPL :)

Dude,

Been there too, hurts like hell to start with but get out with your friends, like someone else said - maybe go on holiday.

Thing is, even at 19 she is still young, to have been in a 2 year relationship since she was 17 is quite a long time, she still has loads more growing up to do.

She is now seeing what life is like while not in a relationship while she`s away and probably thinking it`s great fun.

There aren`t many girls out there who want to settle down until at least 25.

I thought it was the end of the world after 3 years with a previous girl (she was 16 when I met her, I was 18) We split up when I was 21 - met a fantastic girl about 6 months later and we are still together 13 years later, now got a daughter who is 18 months old and life is better than ever.

If she comes home and then wants to get back together, tell her no-way and that you are moving on.




I`m surrounded by Breakdancing strippers!

Jesus, I really can sympathize with you matie my girlfriend of 5 years drop the bombshell 6 days ago, I can honestly say I dont know my arse from my elbow at the minute, I cant stop crying ive been drinking far to much started smoking again and havent been to work in the last 3 days my life had crashed which is a real kicker because im half way through buying what was our house. Anyway im not one for opening my soul on a forum so ill leave it there but I will watch this thread!


Its no help at all, but your not alone..... im in the boat with you :/


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About now im having amnesia and deja vu. I think Ive forgotten this before?!?