Page 1 of Cr@p music in the charts

I am getting seriously p***ed off with some of the crap in the charts at the minute mainly the rip off stuff eg the crap at number one at the minute LMC thing. I kid you not, I recreated this exactly in one of the recording studios at college on Saturday. I am doing a music technology course there which covers most of the computerised music editing software. Another one is this Fatman Scoop. S***e! Hang on..... I can feel a money making idea coming on...........

Yeah, fatman scoop, a fat man with an improbably irritating voice shouting very loudly to a monotonous beat. Marvellous stuff.

The worst for me at the moment is Shawn Paul, what a w***er he is.

Rich

sounds like the same argument people have been using for at least 30 years......I suspect you`re getting old mate :-)

My collection

Well I`m 21 :/

Rich

I suspect I am. 32 next week.

You`re all invited to the party by the way.

Dave

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an improbably irritating voice shouting very loudly to a monotonous beat

you could be quoting my parents...and that was in the 70s :D

My collection

Blimey, now you point that quote out Alan, that makes me look terrible doesn`t it! :o :D

Rich

This item was edited on Monday, 9th February 2004, 21:10

The basic frustration that all serious musicians have gone through for the last few decades I`m afraid! Chart music, for the most part, will always be sh#te.
I`ve often wished that I did like your average chart rubbish, and by that I mean, the top ten in music, TV, films, books etc - just think how easily entertained you would be. You could switch on any channel, pick up any rag or buy all you`re dvd`s from poundland, and you`d be as happy as a pig in sh#t.

Well if you`re not sure if you are too old or not this handy guide should come in useful...

Late 20`s, early 30`s symptoms

You leave gigs before the encore to "beat the rush".
You own a lawnmower.
You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start
dreaming of having a son who might instead.
Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property
section
You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.
All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he`s only 46.
Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.
Flicking through Heat magazine makes you too tired to go out.
Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them
because they`ll be all right for the garden.
You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.
Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of
the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties
of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an electronic mole
repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man for the car to deter
would-be thieves.
You start to worry about your parents` health.
You complain that ecstacy`s "not as pure as it used to be coz you
know that if you have some it will take about 48 hours to recover and
anyway, you might look a bit of an idiot.
Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to
buy costs between 200 and 500 quid.
You don`t get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace
and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
child.
Pop music all starts to sound crap.
You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don`t have any
pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle of house
white.
You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.
You always have enough milk in.
To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go
clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and franchise
pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into
your parents.
While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4`s Time
Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.
The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.
You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q
You wish you had a shed.
You have a shed.
You actually find yourself saying "They don`t make `em like that
anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and "Of Course,
in my day...."
Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has
some really interesting guests on you know.
Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus,
you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.
When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging
baskets.
You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.
You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time,
and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that you are
but passing through this life and if you don`t settle down soon and have
kids you`ll have no-one to look after you when you`re old and frail and
incontinent and you can`t go on p***ing your life up against a wall forever
and think of how many brain cells you`re destroying every time a swift half
turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of stainless steel
saucepans for 99 quid, they cost as much as 35 each if you buy them
separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in.
You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"

Hope this helps.

Quote:
You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.
Thats just having good taste

Quote:
All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 46, he`s only 46..

irrelevant. a prat is a prat is a prat

Quote:
Flicking through Heat magazine makes you too tired to go out..

change hands

Quote:
Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to
buy costs between 200 and 500 quid..

He who dies with most toys wins

Quote:
You don`t get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace
and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your
child. .

I`ve been buying animation stuff regardless of age or the opinion of spotty sales assistants since forever

Quote:
Pop music While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4`s Time
Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in. .

Only relevant when you think the sweaters look really neat.

Quote:
You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11..

essential if they only have an outside s****er


Quote:
You have a shed..

No, you drive a shed and dress like one




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