Page 1 of Great Mistakes I have Said and Made ....

Bugger.

I`ve just applied for a new job and didn`t tick "don`t contact my refrences" so my current manager has either now recieved the request and I am going to have to tell her why, or she hasn`t and I will still have to tell her ....

Awkward position, especially as I haven`t asked her for the refrence, or told her that I am thinking of leaving or even worse, that I may not get the job - but hey I`m sure that others have done worse ...

So what have others done that makes thier own life difficult and with no way out except coming clean?

howabout this - if only i hadn`t felt sorry for a friend of mine and invited him to come clubbing with my fiancee and I.. perhaps i would have married her instead of her f***ing him behind my back and leaving me..

I`m now retired through ill health though In 50 + years so many to as be far beyond counting, but I always tried not to repeat the same f**k up again, ending up a company director with a £ 2 million+ turnover division of a multi national.

So not the worst advice I could give anyone;-))
Cheers P.

"if only i hadn`t felt sorry for a friend of mine and invited him to come clubbing with my fiancee and I.. perhaps i would have married her instead of her f***ing him behind my back and leaving me."

Sounds like you had a lucky escape rather than it being a mistake.

"Sounds like you had a lucky escape rather than it being a mistake"

Yup, totally agree. If she didn`t do it then, it would have been someone else, and more would have been lost if it was further down the line. Don`t feel too bad.

A mistake I made is that I never told a girl that I really liked her. I`m not the best with girls. If I`m after sex on a night out, I do alright but if I "really" like someone, I just lock up. But I really fancied this girl for a long time and didn`t have enough guts to tell her this. Now she lives down in Wales (I`m in Scotland). When I entered my first real sorta longish term relationship, I wasn`t the one to make the first move. So I`m still kinda buggered because I`m single at the moment.

Only things I have said that made me hope (And others) that the earth would open up and swallow me were these little ditties.
Night shift in the lab about 15 years ago.
My mate pulled one of those credit card thin calculators out of his pocket.
I asked him where he got it.
He replied "It was a gift from one of his ex-girlfriends"
I asked him why they split up.
He replied "She was killed in an RTA"
I stupidly asked "Did she have the calculator in her handbag at the time"
Whit a freakin sphincter I felt. Jack knew I did not mean any offence as he knew that I unfortunately tend to speak first then think afterwards.

Another little story.
My good lady and I were up Falkirk one summers day and I went into Boots the chemist to get a can of Diet Irn Bru ,every little helps :-)
I got to the checkout out only to be confronted by one of the fattest women I have ever laid my eyes on.
I immediately said to her "I think you need this more than me"
Then I proceeded to dig a f***in great hole for myself by trying to say "Oh it`s that hot in here isn`t it"

Another wee ditty
I offended not only my wife,sister-in-law,mother-in-law and stunned my daughter and son into silence with this sad tale.
My wifes family were up visiting us and my sister-in-law said that she was thinking about taking up swimming again.
I stupidly said "You had better not go when the weans are off school as they might use you as a water slide".

Is it any wonder I got so many second prizes at boxing in my youthful days and my good lady hates going to dances with me.
Choagy :-)

This item was edited on Tuesday, 11th March 2003, 21:30

Choagy, those stories have made me both smile and say Christ through embarrasment for you at the same time. Some feat.

Classic, though, we`ve all been there at some point.

Being nasty to Bear and Grunt Boy....I love them both realy you know...oopsy daisy I`M of to catch a badger.

Not really one of mine, but a friend at work has revealed that for years she thought `Mull of Kintyre` was actually called `Mulligan`s Tyres`.

To a friend of mines girlfriend.........he obviously isn`t with you for your brain!................the story behind it is a genuine bonafide tale and it goes like this.................................My mate was helping me put up a fence in my back garden, he had also made plans to take his girl out shopping, but this had slipped his mind. In the afternoon she phoned to see what was keeping him, she was a little lippy with him, and he snapped back down the phone at her " Do you know how long it takes to put up a 70 foot fence?" she at the other end of the phone went silent, thought for a minute and then asked the classic question " Why does he need a fence that high?????"

Cheers, Marty. P.S. I have really nosey neighbours!!! but at least now they and their pet girrafes can`t see over my fence.