Page 1 of wedding this weekend, I am the best man and have no speech.......HELP PLEASE

I have a couple of jokes that i can drop in, but nothing that can fill my allocated 10 mins.

Anyone else got any experience of Best Man speeches?



You will Rue the day..........Go on then.....start rueing!!!!!

Helped mates write several over the years.
Firstly,avoid any online best man speech services.
The ones I`ve seen are very contrived and there really is nothing worse than a contrived best man`s speech.
The best ones are the most informal ones.
You obviously know the rough format and protocol you have to follow,so it`s the `meat` of the speech you`re worried about ?
What does the groom do for a living,and what are his hobbies ?

He works as a Warehouse Manager for Universal Cycles, and he plays football, watches football, loves star wars and collects Star Wars toys, memorabilia etc.

He is going bald though, I want to work that in there somewhere




You will Rue the day..........Go on then.....start rueing!!!!!

Make sure you are affectionate...do not slag off the bride, or famliy etc, do not bring up previous girlfriends, etc. Say at least one nice thing about his bride!

Tell people what a good friend has been to you, that he has always been there(o oh The Likely Lads comes to mind here) tell everyone that he will make a great husband because...fill in the blanks...he``s a good listener, dependable and most importantly he does what he is told.(lol)

Above all do not worry about the speech itselff, speak from the heart and keep your notes short...as a prompt rahter than a written dissertation. Speak slowly and clearly so that Granny can hear at the back-ignore hecklers unless you can think of something extremly witty put-downs...

Do not drink alchohol before the speech and hopefully everyone will buy you a drink afterwards!

Above all enjoy this challenge-he must think a lot of you to ask you to be Best Man :D

Sue Davies

Whatever you do,DON`T get drunk before the speech !
A mate of mine got married a few years back.
He`s a Leeds fan,so I went to the bother of sending a card and a wee letter down to Leeds FC asking them to get the card signed by as many players as possible (it was their Champions` League team,so Ferdinand,Smith etc.etc.)

When it came to reading the cards,the best man was so bleeding drunk he completely dismissed it with a "this card`s been signed by some football team or other" comment.

Prick.

BTW,you`ve lots of material there.
A joke you can add in right away is as follows:

"As you all know,XXX is a Stars Wars fan.Now we were discussing the wedding gifts the other day,and I told him I could guess what they were,just by touching them.I guessed them all without fail.XXX was so surprised,he asked how I did it.

Simple,I said (put on Darth Vader voice) "I felt your presents..."

Don`t groan,it would get a laugh. :D

My mates knew from very early on that I was not to be asked to be the best man if they wanted me. Organizing every thing, no probs. But my shyness would not allow me to do the speech. Daft I know.

Dr 42%Er.


It`s not easy being different. It`s not easy being cool....but somehow I manage....

The general best man speech is

Anecdote about how you got to know the groom.

Anecdote of a time the groom looked like a twat

A "no..but seriously" Anecdote on how cool the bride is

Followed by an anecdote on how much of a lovely couple they are

Anecdote about if you arent married, how you hope to be half as lucky as they are one day. If you are married, how you hope they will be as happy as you are (double header brownie points).

If, on your run through, you are flagging for time you can double up quite easily on a stag night anecdote. Plus work in a joke about someone shagging a bridesmaid. Join it all together on the day by winging it.

Lovely job.

(this is the method I used in my best mans speech and my mate pretty much returned the favour for mine).

This item was edited on Monday, 24th April 2006, 17:01

Quote:
But my shyness would not allow me to do the speech. Daft I know.

`tis daft really.
You have to focus on the fact the whole room wants you to do well and,barring horrendous comments about shagging the wife yourself or spewing on the table halfway through,will laugh and clap at any old tosh.
Once you get into that mindset,you`d probably relax.

Quote:
you`d probably relax. Doubt it. How I ever got in to retail sales I will never know.

Dr 42%er.


It`s not easy being different. It`s not easy being cool....but somehow I manage....

Funnily enough, I never get nervous, but on my wedding day I was absolutely s***ting bricks. All of the `before` photos look like im a vampire. I almost look green. I hurled and everything, which is totally not like me.

The only time the nerves went was when I stood up to make my speech. I pretty much disregarded the one I wrote and virtually winged it, sticking only to the main points of thanking everyone and that. I flew through it and did really well. It settled my nerves no end to hear my friends and family laugh along with me (and at me).

But yeah, good advice from sue and dont have a whole ream of paper and monotonously read through it. There is nothing worse.