Page 1 of How does one `subtly` screw up a job interview?

My sister lost her job a few weeks ago, and has been on the dole since.

Now, anyone who`s been on Jobseekers before knows that they throw lots of crappy jobs at you, and you are forced to apply for them - or else you might lose your benefit.

She`s applied for a few decent jobs, and a few real stinkers. Normally, she makes a pig`s ear of the application form if she really doesn`t want the job. Most of the time it works.

Except today. She`s been contacted by *bleep*, despite filling in the app like a 10 year old, for a commision-based job that involves selling beds. She really doesn`t want the job, and would rather hold out until the new year when there`s more chance of a vacancy in her own field (childcare)

Any tips on how she can f*** up the interview without being too obvious?

My suggestions:

*Don`t shave.
*Get caught staring at the interviewer`s breasts.
*Introduce yourself with your willy *accidently* hanging out of your trousers.

Probably won`t fly. ;) It`s got to be subtle or the jobcentre might get wind of it and cut off her £. :(

Oh yeah... Ken is a badass dude!

This item was edited on Friday, 2nd December 2005, 16:23

Quote:
Any tips on how she can f*** up the interview without being too obvious?

My suggestions:

*Don`t shave

Your sister have a facial hair problem then?

Quote:
My suggestions:

*Don`t shave.

Probably won`t fly.

I dunno. You got a cataract problem?

She isn`t a lesbian or a man, either.

Oh yeah... Ken is a badass dude!

This item was edited on Friday, 2nd December 2005, 16:34

Im my experience uttering the words `Foot In the Door` virtually seals your doom. I even went totally out of my way NOT to mention it in an interview, didnt get the job, asked for feedback and they told me that its because I said it was a `Foot in the Door`. I had a real go saying that even though I was over qualified, I didnt utter the immortal phrase. Strangely this didnt change her mind. F***ing HR people.............

If its sales all she has to do is mention she isnt really a people person.

But, to be honest, if its largely comissioned based they will chance their arm on any halfwit because they dont actually have to pay them (which is why the dodgy form filling in didnt work). So only an interview of Spud level proportions will do the job. Dose her up on a few wraps of speed before hand?

I did a comission only sales job for a bit of cash. It was the worst, most soul destroying job I ever had and I was an office cleaner through uni.

This item was edited on Friday, 2nd December 2005, 16:35

Selling beds on commission? Come across as honest. They won`t touch her with a bargepole. Either that or come across as a moron (I`ve done that inadvertently a couple of times myself - if there`s a stick and a wrong end to grasp, I`m always the one going "yuk!")

J Mark Oates

Just say you have no idea about computers. Nothing. Never touched one. That usually seals your fate.

get her to slag off her last employers.. tell her to talk about how she wants to take them to court over unfair dismissal.. they wont touch her with a barge pole

Above is a good `en ..... but...the company have to report back to the jobbie place and might put that on the form (this you always have to be careful of!). So they might think she has more money than she is declaring, or about to get more. Dodgy ground.
Always be one step ahead.

Rub raw fish oil and guts under her arms and round her neck and conduct the interview like she would if she really wanted the job.

Quote:
Rub raw fish oil and guts under her arms and round her neck

Dude, she`s going for a job interview, not a night out in Cardiff. ;)

Oh yeah... Ken is a badass dude!