There have been several complaints about the use of offensive language in the workplace. I feel this is due to a lack of verbal expression/articulation amongst staff. This "phrase evolution" may help.
It has been brought to management`s attention that some individuals throughtout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with other employees. Due to complaints received from some employees who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
None the less we do realize the critical importance of idividuals being able to properly experss their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.
OLD PHRASE PREFERED NEW PHRASE
No f***ing way! I`m certain that`s not feasible.
You`ve got to be s***ting me. Really?
Tell someone who gives a f***. Perhaps you should check with...
Ask me if I give a f***. Of course I`m concerned.
It`s not my f***ing problem. I wasn`t involved with that project.
What the f***? Interesting.
F*** it, it won`t work. I`m not sure I can implement this.
Why the f*** didn`t you tell me that sooner? I`ll try to schedule that.
When the f*** do you expect me to do this? Perhaps I can work late.
Who the f*** cares ? Are you sure this is a problem?
He`s get his head up his ass. He`s not familiar with the problem.
Eat s***! You don`t say.
Eat s*** and die. Excuse me?
Eat s*** and die motherf***er. Excuse me Sir?
What the f*** do they want from my life? They weren`t happy with it?
Kiss my ass. So you`d like my help with it?
F*** it, I`m on salary. I don`t think you understand.
Shove it up your ass. I love a "challenge".
Who the hell died and made you the boss ? You want me to take care of this.
Blow me. I see.
Blow yourself. Do you see?
Another f***ing meeting? Yes, we really should discuss this.
I really don`t give a s***. I don`t think it will be a problem.
He`s a f***ing prick. He`s somewhat insensitive.
She`s a ball-breaking bitch. She`s an aggressive go-getter.
You don`t know what the f*** you`re doing. I think you could use more training.
This place is all f***ed up. We`re a little disorganized.
He-Man & the Masters of the Universe.
Skeletor: "All things come to he who waits...and I have waited so long for this moment"