Page 1 of Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

General Forum

Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

NewFound (Mostly Harmless) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 19:46

Me and my girlfriend have just split up...we share a mortgage and everytime we are credit checked we get credit checked as a couple. How do I go about getting us seperated so I am credit checked alone?? Do I need to go through a solicitor or is there someone I can phone up. I know the mortgage will have to go through a solicitor so will everything get sorted out at the same time?

Any advice will be greatly apprieciated

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

dusty321 (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 19:59

Get in touch with a credit reference agency and get her financially disassociated from you. Had to do the same thing not so long back :(

====================================

About now im having amnesia and deja vu. I think Ive forgotten this before :D

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Stuart McLean (Reviewer) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 21:38

All these things (the practical as well as the emotional) get sorted out with time...
It`s very common too so your solicitor will know what you need to do...

Best of luck with it all...

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

hunsbury0 (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 21:43

My wife of 22 yrs has told me that she doesn`t want me any more!!!!!
I am devastated.
I love her too much to bear this situation. She has not got any other man in her life.
I have never cheated on her. I have never ever have hit her or physically abused her.
I still keep trying to change her mind, but she refuses to go a councellor even though I managed to take her once. She said that I wasted my money on the relate councillor.(they charge £40 everytime you go to them)
We have 2 kids aged 11 & 19.
I am 49 yrs old, and I cannot not bear to live on my own at this time of my life.
I don`t know what will happen financially.
Our mortgage is paid off. My eldest has just started Uni.
My wife works part time & her take home pay is £500, which want even cover her rent!!
At the moment we are in the same house.
If I did buy my half share of the house, would still have to pay stamp duty on the whole amount or on the half share?
What about lawyers, CSA? etc
I would like to have have custody of my little one, but he is more of a mummy`s boy & I understand that the courts are biased to mothers & fathers always lose the most in divorce cases.
I do not know what to do.
If this had happened before we had the kids, then I would have gladly shown her the door & would have looked for a new partner while I was still young.
Because of this ,I have little faith in women, for the fear of being dumped.
Sorry to pour out my problems rather than trying to help you.
I hope that everything works out for you.

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Nina (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 21:50

Newfound and hunsbury sorry to hear of your break-ups :(

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Si Wooldridge (Reviewer) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 22:00

hunsbury0, I am so sorry to hear about your problems. It sounds as if you are currently unable to talk to anyone about how you`re feeling. I would suggest that you give Samaritans a call, it`s a confidential non-judgemental service who are willing to listen to you. For the more practical side, it`s probably wise to either speak to the CAB or a solicitor, although obviously the latter will cost.

I hope you find the answers you`re looking for.

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

hunsbury0 (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 22:07

Thank you all for your sympathies & tips.
I think that taking to CAB will be beneficial.
I think the lawyers will be out there to make most of our misfortunes.
We have haven`t told this problem to anyone apart from our immediate familes.
She has told a 4 of her friends (typical woman!!!!)
I have not told any of my mates, as I do not know how to deal with this situation.

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Nina (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 22:13

Hunsbury try and take each day as it comes. 22 years is a long time and the end of any relationship you will need time to grieve to get over your loss. I know it might not seem like it now, but life does go on and it will get easier. Don`t forget to show your kids extra love during this time as its all too easy for parents to get caught up in their own affairs and just because your kids may be older, it doesn`t mean that it won`t affect them. Really hope that there are better days ahead for you and remember that when one door closes, another one opens. :)

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Si Wooldridge (Reviewer) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 22:18

hunsbury0, make sure your emotional needs are met as well. A lot of men bottle this up until it`s way too late, when discussing your problems with someone could help you find a way through. The reason I suggested Samaritans is that they are completely impartial and will not try to tell you what to do, which close family and mates are likely to. They will allow you to pour out your emotions and let you talk over what you think your options are. I`m not suggesting that it will provide instant answers, but it is an available outlet for you. Please consider using it.

RE: Advice Needed After Splitting Up!

Rassilon (Elite) posted this on Tuesday, 26th October 2004, 22:46

So sorry hunsbury0 thats a long time to be wed, then kicked in teeth like that.

I hope you remember that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train, but a new dawn for you. Whatever happens from now this virtual or cyber family as it was called earlier today in another thread, will offer you all the support, advice & help you get through it.




If Mac users are "more intelligent than the average computer user," why do they need an operating system designed for complete idiots?

Go back to General Forum threads, or All Forum threads