Yesterday i finished work at 3;30 me and my dad came home and he went outside in the garden and i went on my computer and drunk a few cans of stella, 4 infact (bare in mind ive been drinking for 3 weeks everyday).
Well anyway i was feelding tipsy and i said to my sister i give you money and you and dad can go and get me a kebab, when you pick mammny up.
Ok, they all came home and eat my kebab happily, kebab was loveley and i eat it in no time at all, whilst playing Champ manager.
2 hours later, my mam and dad were going out, so i said i`ll come with them, i suggested asda, by this time my stomach felt very rumbley, so we all got in the car,
Whilst about 5 mins into this 7.5 minute journey, my stomach like growled at me, i was worried, i said mam i need to go home for a major s***e, i dont feel well, she said theres toliets in asda, i thought ok we wont be long will we, we checked out the dvd section and wisked our way around asda quickley, they went to the till`;s while i ran as quickly as possible to toilets, Damn i shouted to myslef in my mind as a man in a wheelchair gets in my way ( i also chuckle at this) but this goes to the back of my mind,
Finally into the toilets, worrying about if the cubicles are free, both empty YES i scream, i run into the cubicle and shut the door, check for bog roll YES there is and theres loads.
I rip my trousers down and sit down, and i tell you it was like emptying a bucket of water in the toilet from my arse, ah i thought as the smell hits me, im know worrying about the smell and now wiping my arse, nevermind as igrabb all the bogg roll and why my arse, flush gets rid of it all, oh no, 2nd birst fills up and blocks toliet in a BIG BIG way.
Wyp`es arse, blocks toilet, panics, open`s door 1 man standing having a p*** trying not to breath, i walk casually to wash my hands and starts the leave the toilet`s, In walks a asda man as im about to leave straight into the cubicle i was in.
I think oh f***, lets get outta here and walks quickly outside, i had to wait outside then go back in and look for my mother and papa,
I wont be going in ASDA for a while
Moral of this story is dont get a job in asda, you have some s***e jobs to do. :lol
