Review of Teenage Caveman

Introduction

This grimy old drive-in kitsch is yet another in the ever expanding Arkoff Film Library collection and certainly won`t be out of place tucked in-between other titles from the series, like `Girls in prison`, `The Brain Eaters` or `Voodoo Woman`.

Running for just a little over an hour, `Teenage Caveman` (the original 1958 B-Movie and not the 2001-ish re-make) was reportedly knocked out by maverick Director Roger Corman in just 10 days with a budget of just $70,000. In truth, it shows - though Corman and scriptwriter R. Wright Campbell were publicly very proud of their story, which was a rather inventive movie with a moral twist in the tale that`s been borrowed again and again since this first airing. (See this then the original `Planet of the Apes` for example). Corman originally called this PREHISTORIC WORLD, but the producers at AIP wanted to cash in on the success of their hits `I was a Teenage Werewolf` and `I was a Teenage Frankenstein`, so they changed the title to `Teenage Caveman`. It`s a misleading title. There are elements to this movie that are almost philosophical, with dialogue delivered with a dreamy religious tone, embellished with long looks into the distant horizon. This was clearly intended as a serious and thought provoking picture with aspirations beyond the Drive-In. It`s light on dramatic action, heavy on dialogue.

`Teenage Caveman` features a clean-shaven, baby-faced Robert Vaughn (pre-`The Man from Uncle`) as the teenager of the title. Naturally, despite being a primitive cave-dwelling teen he has a perfectly waxed quiff - quite a feat under such primitive conditions!

He plays the ever questioning son of the cave tribe`s official `symbol maker` (Leslie Bradley), always searching for a greater truth and meaning to his limited and hum-drum existence. An unidentified blonde Cave Gal (Darrah Marshall) takes a shine to the Cave Boy - even sympathising when he insists on going against tribal law and wandering to the forbidden zone where a "…Gives Death with its Touch." He ventures to the forbidden zone, followed by his fearful father who, thanks to the relatively small studio space available, seems to have no trouble locating his son. There are a couple of dinosaurs (cut in from other movies) as well as some entirely unconvincing attacks by dogs. The conversations are generally wooden, and the action confined to one or two locations throughout, rather like a theatrical play. Despite the salacious original poster for the movie, there is only the merest hint at nudity during a bathing scene where Vaughn happens upon his blonde cave-girl in a watering hole. A two second cutaway is sufficient for her to become fully re-clothed and that`s that. (Add grouchy emoticon here…).

Without wishing to spoil the movie (the blurb at the header does that for you), the twist at the end is very satisfying. It`s a film full of questions - and they pretty much all get answered in the final moments. The end of the movie was also clearly a reflection of the fear of the consequences of Atomic war - a paranoia now faded and replaced with fears of isolated acts of terrorism. But it was a very potent fear of the day (barely a decade had passed since the end of WW2) and this films shocking conclusion reflects this.

Video

Offered up in 1:33:1, I`m reticent to say that this is a pan and scan transfer. It isn`t. It`s an unfeeling butchers transfer without the hint of a pan to rescue the focus of the action. As a consequence, the original ratio is just cropped at both ends with complete disregard for where the focal point of the action is at any particular time. You`re left watching close-ups of dialogue where half the face is missing, for example. Also, contrast is poor and the overall transfer looks washed out - like a poor tape format compressed to DVD. It`s difficult to know whether this is a bad print of an OK movie - or an OK transfer of a bad original. Probably a mix of both.

Audio

There are some great orchestral washes here from Al Glasser with vast swathes of rolling tom-toms. It`s used in an indiscriminate `all the time` kind of way that makes me feel that this might have been music bought by the yard that had been `previously enjoyed` in earlier films. The dialogue is a little muffled on occasion but is probably nothing to do with transfer. It`s really just a standard work-a-day mono soundtrack from a movie produced on a shoestring.

Features

In common with other movies in the collection, there is a 50-minute audio only interview with Producer Samuel Z. Arkoff. There are also a number of drive-in style trailers for other drive-in style movies in the collection. Strangely the only subtitles on offer are Dutch.

Conclusion

This low-budget, drive-in b-movie`s title belies the intelligence of script and narrative held in its all too brief 65 minutes. It was a story that promised great things but, like many before, got allocated the meanest of budgets. Which is a shame. Featuring less than half a dozen studio locations, bits cut in from other movies, and some positively cringe-worth acting, it`s a film that never really fulfils any of its promises. It`s bad - but not bad enough. It`s good (in part) - but not good enough.

Vaughn was a strange choice for the lead role too. He looks too suave (almost camp) as he struts around in his bearskin, to ever be truly convincing in the role. I guess I would have had little hesitation recommending this release to the curious, though the butchering it`s taken on the transfer (where, during the scanning, there was no panning to speak of) makes me reluctant to do so. This may be a grimy old b-movie (which is bad enough) but to crop both ends off is just going too far.