The Hottie and the Nottie

Oh dear. Despite the intriguing title and poster, with the promise of a Farrelly Brothers style laugh a minute gross-out comedy, with a little glamour thrown in for good measure, this movie positively under-delivers on all counts.



It's astonishing that they let this one out as a theatrical release. I'm guessing they hoped the word wouldn't spread too quickly. It did. So in a last ditched effort to recoup something from this dead-on-its feet turkey, it's been given a fairly hefty DVD release with plenty of PR, a dedicated website, and some intriguing packaging to make sure it flies off the rental shelves at Blockbusters.



So what's wrong with it? It seems to have all the madcap ingredients that generally make an entertaining movie. It's sometimes difficult to put your finger on why a comedy doesn't work though here, some elements are screamingly obvious. Bad casting (Paris Hilton is nothing short of dreadful), a completely tasteless script with moral messaging so confused as to be despicable, and a leading man devoid of any natural charisma.



'Hottie' is another film, in common with movies like 'Shallow Hal', that focuses attention on the need for relationships to go deeper than skin-deep. It starts off with a scene reminiscent of Bo Derek's '10' with Paris Hilton jogging down a seafront, attracting the longing looks of all males in the vicinity. Amongst her fans is Nate Cooper (played by Joel David Moore), a geeky mid-20's ex-school friend who has had a soft spot for Cristobel (Hilton's character).
Literally bumping into her, he discovers that if he is ever to get his dream date, he'll need to find a suitable partner for her friend June (the 'Nottie') - who is grotesque beyond imagining.



And here's where the tale begins to fall apart. June is played like a pantomime dame, with teeth and make-up about as convincing as Widow Twanky's. What follows are a series of sketches designed to show us just how awful the friend is; through stinky feet being pushed under Nate's nose in a gym, to a rotten, encrusted toe-nail being swallowed by a would-be suitor, the gags are so unlikely and so forced that they seem more akin to the Chuckle Brothers. Which is a shame, because later in the movie, when Nate is out to impress and is constantly being outdone by a seemingly perfect dental surgeon, I actually found myself laughing aloud as he pulls out his guitar only to find that his rival is great at that too - entertaining the whole café they're sitting in. It was a single moment that showed, if the writer & Director had got this right, what the cast (sans the wooden Hilton) might have been capable of.



Naturally it transpires that, once June has plastic surgery, her teeth done and turns out to be a 'hottie', that Nate figures out it's her he was in love with all along. Silly boy.
The lesson? If you're ugly you're good for a laugh but if you transform into a 'hottie' then people will discover the real you. Nice.



In terms of the DVD itself, you can expect a nice transfer - full of colour and with no signs of artefacting. Audio is served up in Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 English and is a good mix of music and dialogue, though expect most the action to be delivered from the front speakers with very occasional spot effects elsewhere. Clearly not a picture worth going to town on.



Strangely, the disc I had (the R2) didn't include the Audio Commentary contained on the R1 release (thankfully!) but did include a brief 'Making of' featurette, as well as a very unfunny feature where Paris Hilton applies make-up to Joel David Moore in a trailer. About as funny as most of the movie. There's also an incredibly unfunny piece where the central characters do the equivalent of an online dating video. Too much time spare on set clearly. Then there are the usual photo galleries, trailer and some additional trailers for other movies. In short, nothing to get excited about.



In conclusion, if the prospects of seeing Paris Hilton working out in a gym in glorious wide-screen is enough compensation for a poor movie then go ahead and buy this DVD. If not - don't.