Review of Intuition Shorts, The

Introduction

I suppose any innovative use of low-budget programme making should be applauded. Anyone hell-bent on breaking down barriers, re-inventing the process, re-defining what we view and the way that we view it should get our admiration and gratitude.

But `The Intuition Shorts` takes advantage of this pre-disposition. It promises much and delivers nothing. It`s quite possibly the poorest excuse I`ve yet seen for a DVD release. It`s truly awful in every respect. And what rankles is, after reading the Producer`s own hype, I really wanted to see this. So this is less of a review and more of a warning. These posturing impostors should be the subject of a Channel 4 expose on cowboy filmmakers - talking the talk, walking the walk, and then offering off this grossly sub-standard release.

Comprising a series of 60 second shorts (as well as elongated versions of the same should you wish to put yourself through it) this is really third rate. To suggest that the ideas are half-baked would be a gross exaggeration. They`re barely quarter baked and seem to be completely vacuous with no connecting themes or styles. It`s a wonder that this pack ever found it`s way into the public arena. For example, `You think right` is a pointless vignette featuring two unattractive male youths in a café which descends into meaningless and directionless drivel. `You f*****g moron` is more fuzzy, amateurish nonsense which is just embarrassing to watch. No cliché is left unturned as they progress through this collection - watch that card playing scene and wince!

All shot on inexpensive home-movie kit (probably mini-dv) every shot is subject to auto-aperture flares (you can over-ride this boys…), auto-focus clicks (I kid you not…), and some very rudimentary shot variation. This would all be acceptable on a wedding video perhaps, but this is all dressed up as `serious work` - and it certainly isn`t that. They even manage to offend without being very edgy or bright with their homespun music with lines like `You blonde filthy bitch`. Maybe someone with Iggy Pop`s charisma could get away with it but not the real-life Beavis and Butthead`s responsible for this travesty.

Video

Generally poor to very poor. Badly lit shots filmed on home-movie kit (Mini-DV) with no attempt to over-ride the auto-focus and auto-aperture functions.

Audio

In common with the homespun feel of the visual content, the soundtracks are badly recorded and mixed. Music is no saviour either, and is generally derivative, dull and occasionally irritatingly offensive.

Features

Well, as the main event is just a short number of 60 second `shorts`, this disc attempts to make up the weight with oodles of extras. But if ever there`s a case needed to support the `less is more` philosophy, then this is it. Longer and even more irritating versions of the `shorts` are available. There are interminable `making of` sequences which beggar belief, carrying self-aggrandizing titles like `Further Insight`, `Intuitive Design` and so on.

Conclusion

Really good movies or TV shows are made with a combination of lively creative imagination and technical craftsmanship, neither of which are in evidence here. A good script or conceit, a well-considered storyboard and a reasonable cast are essential foundations - which are often ably abetted by good lighting, reasonable camerawork and solid audio work. Unfortunately, `Intuition Shorts` fails dramatically on all counts.

Feeling a little like a party-pooper, I desperately searched for something positive or kind to say about this work and came up blank. In the final analysis, each of the `shorts` is amateurish, pretentious and shoddily realised. They even offer advice and insight in their extras to other filmmakers which betray delusion on a grand scale.

It plays very much like a sixth form film project, tutored by someone who`s barely one page ahead in the manual. To add insult to injury, and enough embarrassment to separate the uppers of my shoes from the soles, these two impostors take themselves terribly seriously, one even wearing a Pinewood studios baseball cap as he talks about the work. I wriggled with embarrassment on his behalf. Maybe they`ll go on to great things, but this early work offers no positive indication of that. Maybe they`d do better to pursue careers in PR. After all - they`ve got me watching the disc despite its significant failings. And maybe they`ll get someone to part with good money for this DVD. My advice is clear - avoid at all costs!