Review of Widows Series 2 (2 Discs)

Introduction

Big Hair. Extortion. ‘Iron Women’. Slobby, Coffee-Stained Coppers. Acrid, Sleazy Brazilian Hunks. Profligate Monetary Skullduggery. Pathological Materialism. Ah... the 80s. What did we do without them? Perhaps the real question should be, what were we doing when we had them? Judging by the success of `Widows`, we were crouched in front of our televisions watching a tale of social-realist derring-do about four widows who inherit their dead husbands’ failed raid on a security van and escape to Rio with the stolen cash. Well, this is part two, and we can thank the first 35 seconds of the first of six episodes for that brief synopsis (a voice-over, incidentally, delivered by the most English sounding man in the history of the world.)

While chilling in Rio, we`re introduced to our characters as they bask in blissful, well-oiled serenity: unpolished third-wheel Linda (Maureen O`Farrell), short-fused ex-prostitute Bella (Debby Bishop) and short-fused wannabe model Shirley (Fiona Hendley). Their gang leader, short-fused Thatcherite Dolly (Ann Mitchell) is back in England awaiting plastic surgery to evade her vengeful husband Harry (Maurice O`Connell) who plans to extort the remaining cash from the widows whilst rather greedily planning another jewel heist on the side. Will the widows escape from Harry’s clutches? Whatever the answer, you can bet you`ll find out in just 289 minutes.

Video

I don`t think we need to go over this: it`s a TV show. From the 80s. Widescreen? Anamorphic? Digitally Enhanced?... um... no.

Audio

Serviceable mono track which loses a mark due to what is perhaps the most horrifying of a terrible era of TV theme tunes: an over-produced rock power-ballad that, judging by its sheer awfulness, was probably a huge hit at the time. We can only thank The Lord Almighty that it`s only played over the end credits.

Features

So-so interviews with writer Lynda La Plante on disc one and producer Linda Agran on disc two. It would have been nice to see some behind the scenes stuff for sheer camp amusement, but these dull but vaguely informative interviews are your lot.

Conclusion

On a sheer performance level, this stinks like an episode of `Eldorado` that’s been left out in the sun: of the four unfeasibly ghastly and unlikable protagonists, the most annoying is killed off in episode three but we have to wait another three episodes to watch another one being dispatched. O’Connell fulfills the requirement of `anonymous-evil-male-bastard` while managing to underplay his well-trodden role amongst all his female colleague`s relentless hamming.

However, La Plante can string together a crime narrative with assurance, and while this five hour marathon if painfully over-stretched (what the Hell is the point in the ‘Shirley’s Old Ma gets pregnant’ subplot?) there is an admirable restraint in terms of exploiting secondary characters for sentimental value or wallowing in the usual emotional pornography. Effective too is the introduction of a crippled ex-police Chief, keen to corner the widows and their soul surviving rogue spouse for his own personal revenge.

That said, there`s no denying that with today`s increasingly sophisticated televisual crime-epics that this is a feeble and out-dated progenitor of a sub-genre that has become an ITV mini-series staple: independent women-on-the-verge rail against male dominated society by inverting cultural stereotypes. `Widows` maintains a certain degree of moral integrity by managing to bring things to a suitably downbeat conclusion without going overboard with the ‘crime-doesn’t-pay’ message. However, this remains a dated endeavor that fails to rise above its dirty dish-cloth soap-operatics, overwrought performances and a failure to display the alluring glamour these women go to such extremes to pursue.