Review of Mortal Kombat

Introduction

Oh Dear. How do I justify having this DVD in my possession? There`s no excuse for owning rubbish like this, let alone watching it. In my defence, let me state that as an adolescent, I was a fan of the classic Midway beat `em up, preferring it`s gory charms over the cartoon antics of Streetfighter 2. For a long time it was my favourite Amiga arcade conversion and when news of a movie came, I eagerly turned my cash over at the cinema and must admit I did enjoy the film. It only made sense to get it when it came out on video, but the spell had worn off and I started to see through adult eyes. When I got my DVD player, in my rush to replace my tired VHS collection, I grabbed the first copy of Mortal Kombat that was in a bargain bucket and gave it a spin. But the charm has definitely faded.

Story, what story? Oh well, here goes. Liu Kang is looking for vengeance for his brother`s death at the hands of the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung, Johnny Cage (not to be confused with John Cage, the lawyer out of Ally McBeal) is a martial arts movie star that wants to prove to his public that he isn`t fake, and Sonya Blade, a cop who is looking to avenge her partner`s death at the hands of the underworld boss, Kano. These three mismatched characters are one way or another entered into Mortal Kombat, a battle for the realm of Earth. Shang Tsung and his evil horde will gain dominion over Earth if they win one more Mortal Kombat tournament. Facing Goro, Scorpion and Sub Zero is a daunting task, but our intrepid heroes have at their disposal the advice of Lord Rayden, the god of thunder and lightning who looks and sounds remarkably like Connor MacLeod. All this crap is the filler between some rather outlandish kung fu action. This isn`t supposed to be meaningful.

Video

Paul Anderson (Who?) directs this. I didn`t notice any obvious cock-ups, like the camera pointing in the wrong direction or something. The actual transfer is terrible, not only is it a 1.85:1 letterbox, but there is something wrong with the colour balance. The reds are glaring and anything that colour seems part of the foreground. In the dark scenes, blues bleed into reds and the whole thing seems a mess. Skin tones look especially bad. The special effects are hardly special. By the time this movie was made, digital effects were, if not commonplace, at least a well understood industry, but the effects here are amateurish and often plain ugly. Perspective is off in many scenes and there is no constant sense of scale.

Audio

The sound is given a DD 5.1 treatment and is adequate. The one redeeming feature is the music, the soundtrack is excellent and contains one of my favourite Orbital Tracks, Halcyon + On (Don`t get the movie, it`s on the Brown album). The music by George S. Clinton is pretty good too.

Features

Extras are limited to the trailer and some character biographies. The actors weren`t good enough so the likes of Kano and Rayden got the biographies instead. The menu is garish and awkward to navigate. Also, there are no subtitles.

Conclusion

Take note of the stars of this movie. After this rather humble beginning, I`m sure they`re household names… in Albania. Robin Shou is Liu Kang, Linden Ashby is Johnny Cage and Bridgette Wilson is Sonya Blade. I don`t think my vocabulary is adequate to describe how bad their performances are. Lending some weight are Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa and Christopher Lambert. Tagawa is Shang Tsung and should know better than this and his career has picked up after this. The last time I saw him was on Nash Bridges and he was evidently in a monkey suit in the Planet of the Apes Remake. As for Christopher Lambert, he has picked some stinkers in his time, but evidently he wanted to make the least amount of effort for this one. His Lord Rayden is simply Connor MacLeod in a white wig. He even recycles some of the Highlander dialogue. All that`s missing is a sword and a heartfelt "There Can Be Only One".

I can`t believe I ever liked Mortal Wombat, even for the fight sequences. By that time I had seen plenty of Jackie Chan movies and I should have known the difference. Bad acting, lacklustre action, meaningless storyline, this film boils down to some poorly staged fights linked together by some pseudo Zen mysticism. But I`d be a liar if I didn`t admit that I still derive some enjoyment from this film. I still like the fight between Reptile and Liu Kang and I`m still into it when Shang Tsung is finally defeated. You`ll enjoy this movie if you`re twelve and have been brought up on a diet of Power Rangers and it could be worse, it could be the sequel or the TV series. By the way, the film may be listed as 97 minutes long, but 10 minutes are the end credits. No, I`m going to put my foot down, this film sucks big time and you shouldn`t be put through this. Avoid this like the plague.