Review for Alien vs. Ninja

9 / 10

Introduction


Once in a while, a film comes along that hooks you by its title alone. Late last year, the buzz started around a film coming in 2011, a film by the name of Cowboys & Aliens. I didn't even need to see the trailer to know that I will be there on opening day, lining up at the cinema, perhaps to see the first bit of originality in Hollywood blockbusters that there has been in a long, long time. And then I'll see that it's only available in 3D, and I'll turn around and go home, opting to wait for it to come out on disc instead. But about that originality thing… Just when you think that Hollywood may be changing its stripes, and trying something new, you find that they are still stepping boldly where someone has already been. It appears that in 2010, Japanese cinema had already visited the aliens in an anachronistic setting. For that title compulsion hit me a few weeks ago, when the compelling Alien vs. Ninja came up for review, and I requested it with a Pavlovian reflex before I even knew what the film was about. I mean… Alien vs. Ninja!? A title like that instantly promises something so bad that it will be good, cheesy and cool, crap but fun! It's one big oxymoron brought to life on the silver screen. Except that after watching it last night, I get the feeling that Alien vs. Ninja transcends all that.

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An elite Iga ninja team is on its way back from a mission in Oda territory. It was supposed to be a simple recon mission, but leader Yamata wound up defeating a team of enemy ninja single-handed, after they blew up the enemy castle. He and stylish ninja Jinnai, as well as the cowardly inventor Nezumi make their way back to the village in triumph, only to get browbeaten for disobeying orders. More punishment would be forthcoming, but on their way back, they witnessed a ball of fire in the sky, a rock that fell to Earth not far from their village. Instead of punishment, as the only team at hand, they are ordered to meet up with female ninja Rin and her team, and go on to investigate. Trekking through the forest on the way to where the ball of fire fell, they encounter a blood spattered youth. Nishi claims to be the sole survivor of his village, where everyone was wiped out, slaughtered. But they aren't alone in the forest. Something not of the Earth is stalking them, and it isn't long before the ninja team is being picked off, one by one.

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Picture


Alien vs. Ninja gets a 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer. It's a film that was shot digitally, so it does tend to look a little flat, although it isn't too prone to the ghosting and motion blur usually associated with such cinematography. In fact it's pretty clear and sharp, although apparently an NTSC-PAL conversion. But the action comes across clearly enough, the dodgy CGI is present and correct, and no alien in such a film would be acceptable, were it not a man in a rubber suit. Still, the CGI effectively adds tentacles and a prehensile tail, and the enhancements to make a modern Japanese forest look like the 16th Century are all surprisingly invisible. Where the film excels is in the stunts and the action work. There are some really well choreographed action sequences in this film, so good that on more than one occasion, I found myself skipping back to just watch it again!

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Sound


You have the choice here of DD 5.1 and DD 2.0 Japanese, with optional English subtitles. The dialogue is clear, the contemporary music works with the style of the movie, and the action comes across well. There is one moment of Engrish in the film; it seems that English is the lingua franca when it comes to evil soul-sucking aliens, and for that sequence, no subtitles are available. I got the gist of most of it though, despite some questionable pronunciation.

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Extras


There's nothing on this disc from Revolver Entertainment, save for the animated menu screen. It's a shame as the end credits list a making of crew. If you want to see the making of documentary, you'll have to import the US Region 1 disc. Funimation release Alien vs. Ninja on the 22nd February 2011, and that has the making of and the trailer in addition to the film. They also release a Blu-ray version of the film for the US market on the same day.

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Conclusion


Let's not beat around the bush here, this is basically a remake of Predator, with much the same story, and much the same structure. In Predator, an elite commando team led by Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dutch was sent into the jungle to complete a mission, thus establishing their hard man credentials, before coming face to face with an extra-terrestrial menace that left them outclassed and fighting desperately for their lives. They also came across a native girl, a sole survivor of the Predator's attacks. In Alien vs. Ninja, we don't have as much time for the story, so we join the elite ninja team on their way back from a mission, and have the lead character defeat a whole bunch of enemy ninja single-handed to demonstrate his bad-ass-ness. They are then sent to investigate a ball of fire that fell to Earth, and they too encounter an extra-terrestrial menace that has them completely outclassed, before they can figure out a game plan and come back at it. And they too encounter the soul survivor of its predations on one village, a young boy who has to work through his trauma before he can fight back. Of course it's completely coincidence that the lead actor looks surprisingly like Sonny Landham, who played Billy in Predator.

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But that's where the similarities end, as Alien vs. Ninja is played mostly for laughs. You can't take the guy in the rubber suit seriously, and thankfully neither does the cast or the writers. It's silly, daft, energetic fun from beginning to end, with cheap looking effects and a tongue-in-cheek approach to its story that definitely plays to the so bad it's good crowd. Yet when it comes to action, it doesn't at all stint, or cut corners. In fact, coming from the same sort of background as Hard Revenge Milly, the action here really is top notch, brilliantly choreographed, fast paced and jaw-droppingly intense. It's better than most mega-budgeted Hollywood action flicks, the sort of action that leaves your mouth agape at the audacity of it all.

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The film plays almost like a live action anime, with its larger than life characters, and it's emphasis on comedy. Our hero Yamata is a typical, lantern-jawed tough guy, while his right hand man Jinnai is far more concerned that he looks cool, the sort of guy who'll pause during a fight to check that his hair is still in place. The third member of their team, Nezumi, is the comic relief, an older ninja who's stayed alive that long through sheer cowardice, and whose cowardice is his defining feature. Yet he does bring some remarkable, and anachronistic inventions to the team. The female quotient, and the advert for butt-kicking women's lib is supplied by Rin, a lethal ninja girl with attitude, and who doesn't take crap from anyone, least of all Nezumi.

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The alien itself, while it looks ridiculous, certainly cribs from the best, a cross between the aforementioned Predator, the Alien Xenomorph, and the Raptor from Jurassic Park, with one or two abilities unique to it as well. It may require living human bodies to reproduce (and turn into mind controlled zombies), and it may issue forth with all manner of tentacles, embryos and prehensile appendages, but even it can recognise female ninja hotness when it sees it. The battle between the alien and Rin is one of the highlights of the film.

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Alien vs. Ninja is brilliant! It's daft, it's puerile, it's childish, and it's cheap. But it's fast paced, it's funny, it's action packed, and above all it's entertaining. For eighty minutes while I watched it, I just couldn't wipe the grin off my face, and it was a grin that persisted long after the end credits had rolled. Alien vs. Ninja is normally the sort of fun that you usually have after a few pints and a kebab. Yet I didn't need the alcohol, or the artery hardening meat of indeterminate origin. As I said, Alien vs. Ninja is transcendental. You know, Cowboys and Aliens will have the bigger budget, the bigger name stars, better performances, effects, and probably stunts and action as well. It will most likely be miles better than Alien vs. Ninja. You know what else? In a fundamental and contradictory way, it probably will also be nowhere near as good.

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