Open wide and say AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGHHH!

Introduction

"In the terrifying tradition of Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus comes… Lockjaw"

Oh dear. That film doesn't really have a terrifying tradition in any good sense. Terrifying acting. Terrifying(ly bad) effects. Terrifying lack of storyline. Maybe that's what they are going for instead...

So, a voodoo curse, thought buried in the mists of time, reignites the fanged horror of the infamous Kulev Serpent - the gargantuan 'Lockjaw'.

When his wife is killed in a devastating accident by delinquent holiday-makers, distraught Alan calls upon demonic forces to exact his revenge. Once summoned, this ancient evil cannot be tamed or reasoned with. It will stop at nothing and no one will be spared.

The only thing that stands in its way is Army Special Ops veteran and master hunter Nick Kirabo (hip hop superstar DMX - "Cradle 2 the Grave" and "Never Die Alone") who has been waiting for Lockjaw to return...

Ok, I'll be brutally honest. I didn't have high hopes for this film. It was never going to be Oscar material or some Nouvelle Vague directed classic. But I was looking for a bit of a fun mindless action film.

Video

1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer that does exactly what it says on the tin. There's no award-winning cinematography here, just the some cheap effects and lots of people running through swamps/fields etc.

Audio

A DD2.0 stereo soundtrack, which again offers no surprises.

Extra Features

Nothing. Although that might be a blessing!

Conclusion

Like I said earlier, I didn't have high hopes for this film. And even those very low expectations were not met. It is indeed "In the terrifying tradition of Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus", in that it's as poor as that film, but without the over the top monsters doing stupid things. This time there's just a rubbish snake on the loose in swamps and fields...

This is another low budget horror/monster flick that you usually find on Sci Fi (I refuse to use their new name of Syfy) or similar straight to TV movie channels. It's not scary or thrilling. The characters are one dimensional and flat. The story is one big cliché and plods along until the inevitable happens. You could have trimmed it down by 50% to make a 45 minute episode of a TV show. It's only 77 minutes long, and at least 7 of those are the end credits.

Don't waste your money on this, unless it ends up in the sales for about 3 quid. You'll catch it on TV at some point soon. And probably wish that you hadn't bothered. You won't get those 77 minutes back. Ever.