WWE Extreme Rules 2009

I don't watch very many WWE PPVs live, mainly it's to do with the cost, but it's also to do with the staying awake until 4am. Now, I'm sure there are some of you who have done things like that. Stayed awake to hear a result or to watch a show that will only be on at that time and no other. Now, some may say 'Hey Dave, why don't you record it and watch it later?' The reason is simple:

The Fast Forward Button.

I shall explain. I watch TNA on a Sunday morning. Not on a Saturday night, but I Sky+ it (UK's version of Tivo) and watch it on Sunday morning. Of the two hours of TNA (not including adverts), I say I fast forward through about 75% of it. There are various reasons for that. Maybe I don't want to watch the same cookie cutter tag/x-division match anymore. Maybe I don't want to listen to Mick Foley go on about how he has power, only to be interrupted by Jeff Jarrett saying he has power only to then go to the back to Jim Cornette or Traci Brooks with power. My head doesn't need this. So, I fast forward.

Now, when it comes to a PPV, I like to watch it all. It's really the only way to watch it. I'm sure you'll agree. And if I am able to fast forward why would I watch a 5 minute promo about Randy Orton, when I can just get to the match?

Of course now that I have this PPV on DVD... well I'll just have to see how much the fast forward button comes into play...

US Championship Fatal Four-Way Match
Kofi Kingston (c) vs MVP, William Regal and Matt Hardy

I really enjoyed this match. There was a great mix from everyone. Regal looked insanely good and I was hoping that he would carry this off as he seemed to be getting to upper hand of everyone, but that finish was just so sudden it was great.

Intercontinental Championship No Holds Barred Match
 Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio (c)

I'm confused. We have all seen Mysterio without a mask before (ok not in WWE) and so what is going on? However, I enjoyed the match. Y2J's promo should have lead to an ambush backstage to bring an old skool hardcore match feel to it, but sadly that's not to be. Great match though.

So far so good!

Samoan Strap Match
CM Punk vs Umaga

 Why do WWE continue to book stupid matches like this? I mean a strap match is never as exciting as people think they may be. This isn't like the Piper/Valentine dog collar match from why back in the day, this is a very stupid match that I just can't care about.

It was at this point when I remembered that CM Punk still had his briefcase and these two thoughts went through my head:

a.)    I bet he cashes it in tonight.
b.)    Wouldn't it be great if CM Punk actually got over this time?

 ECW Championship Triple Threat Hardcore Match
Tommy Dreamer vs Christian (c) and Jack Swagger

As soon as I remembered this was Dreamer's last match I zoned out. It was so obvious he would win. However, this match was worth it for the before match promo with Dreamer/Christian totally dissing Swagger. Priceless!

Miss Wrestlemania: Hog Pen Match
Santina Marella defeated Vickie Guerrero (c) (with Chavo Guerrero)

Painful. What the fats forward button was made for!

WWE Championship Steel Cage Match
Batista vs Randy Orton (c)

This match was just blah to me. It felt like almost every Steel Cage spot that I have seen for the past twenty years all rolled into one. I was bored. I honestly didn't care who won.
 
Submission Match
John Cena defeated The Big Show

Speaking of not caring who would win. Do I? Do I care? I love the way they kept going on about how Cena could not apply the STF.
WELL LEARN ANOTHER FN MOVE THEN!!!!??????
There's a moment when Cena busts out a sleeper and I swear you'd think listening to Lawler that he'd never seen it before. Just a horrible match.
Note for WWE. Unless it's against a submission/mat-based wrestler, please don't book Cena in a submission match again!

World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match
Jeff Hardy vs Edge (c)

I agree with JR when he commented that these were the best ladder match performers in the WWE today. They are. This was perfect. So many spots that made me go OMG!!! So many that just made me marvel at how they did it: The spear into the twist of fate was just mad. But that ending with Edge caught in the ladder. That was just perfect.

This was how you end a PPV.

Oh wait!

World Heavyweight Championship Match
CM Punk defeated Jeff Hardy (c)

I am shocked. Not at it happening. But at WWE dropping the ball again. A face defeating a face in a two minute match. No, that's not what I wanted to see. When CM Punk came out I could not believe it. Instead of this being a wonderful moment with Hardy as champion, I sat there stunned at the screen.

I was horrified!

If Edge had won and Punk had come out. That would have been fine. But to rob Jeff of his glory after a few seconds? Madness! Waste of time! You may as well have not bothered. Even if Punk had come out and announced 'Me, You at the Bash!' Fine. I could handle that. A feud between them two and then a two PPV feud ending at Summerslam in a TLC match. Perfect.

 BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 As CM Punk stood on the top rope, holding the belt above him screaming 'What's my name now?' all I thought was:

 No one cares.

The extras are simply a backstage interview with Chris Jericho which isn't bad... it isn't great either, but it does show that even without a crowd he is able to put on a good promo and keep the feud between himself and Mysterio alive. Overall this was an excellent undercard and wonderful main event let down by a stupid Hogpen match, Cena/Show, Batista/Orton and a pointless ending that made me wish I'd actually used the fast forward button!