Review of Christmas Carol, A: Scrooge`s Ghostly Tale

Introduction

Copyright! It`s practically a dirty word now. It wasn`t always thus. C***right was a sensible idea that ensured that no one got diddled out of their hard earned cash. But now, the musicians want more, to be treated like their writer cousins, who get paid for their work 70 years after they depart this mortal coil. Then there are the letters D, M and R. Innocuous enough, but if rearranged into DRM, are enough to strike fear into the hearts of countless geeks. It`s all about control. The corporations want to control what you watch, hear and read, and how you interact with the world. Already you are limited in what you can do with the software you buy, but someday soon, you will be allowed to own a film, but not actually watch it. And reading a book will require you call up the author and ask for permission every time you want to turn a page. The government`s watching me you know. I can sense their gaze through all the cameras. They`re everywhere…

But c***right has a flipside, the magic words, `public domain`. For once enough time has passed, a created work becomes available to all. (Although not if Di$ney have any say in the matter). You don`t have to pay the Creator royalties every time you stage the Nativity, Shakespeare`s plays can be brought to the stage without fear of litigation, and Dickens` novels are free to all. Well, you have to pay the price of the book of course; printing and binding don`t come for free you know. But the important thing is that the works, the characters, and the ideas are all open for use. Which is why, regular as clockwork, we get new versions of A Christmas Carol every Yuletide.

The story is familiar to all. Skinflint miser Ebeneezer Scrooge works his employee Bob Cratchit to the bone, never sparing a farthing for the needy, or a coal for the fire, and is as cold of heart as he is tight of wad. Then just before Christmas, he gets a visitation from a trio of spooks that show him the error of his ways, and miraculously, overnight, he turns from misanthrope to philanthropist, and Tiny Tim lives a long and happy life. Happy ending done and dusted, viewers can retire, cockles warmed, for a bracing gallon or two of eggnog.

This latest version from BKN takes that story and retells it with a profusion of CGI. The family Scrooge become skunks, the Cratchits are rabbits, and the three spooks are a stork, kangaroo and walrus respectively. (I haven`t the slightest idea what Jacob Marley is supposed to be, but whatever he is, he`s overdosed on alum… Ask your grandparents.)

Video

With a 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer of a digitally sourced animation, you would expect perfection. And you wouldn`t be far wrong. What you get here is clear, sharp and pristine, with just a hint of aliasing. However that is only half the story. When you hear that it is a CGI animation, the average viewer will be in mind of Toy Story or Shrek. This isn`t the case here. What you get is software, essentially a cutscene from a console game, stretched over 45 minutes. The characters are simplistic, limited and lack emotional depth, and there is no flair or art to any of the animation. This is animation as accomplished by computer programmers, not storytellers. (And when I say computer programmers, I don`t mean games writers, but accountants). It lacks humanity and humour. The limitations of the animation become immediately apparent as well. The blurb on the case tells us that the story has been relocated to a village outside London. Apparently the processing power wasn`t available for a whole city, and the edge of this Lego brick universe is just past the nearest building. Just as in the previous BKN offering I reviewed, Legend Of The Dragon, the animation has been accomplished in India. They have a fair bit to go before they can rival countries like Korea as the go to nation for animation outsourcing.

Audio

A DD 2.0 English track is serviceable. The dialogue is clear, although the performances are instantly forgettable. There are a couple of execrable songs in the film, and should you feel masochistic enough, the lyrics are printed inside the DVD case.

Features

Nothing, not even a menu. The film autoplays, and when it ends, loops back to the beginning.

Oh, there is the snowstorm packaging. You know the snow globes that get brought back from many a holiday trip. The principle has been applied to DVD sleeves, and the Amaray case is wrapped in a clear plastic sleeve, the front of which is filled with clear fluid and little bits of paper. Shake it and it snows in front of the seasonal themed DVD sleeve.

You just know it`s going to leak. In fact, given its target audience, you`d best be served by removing the sleeve and throwing it away before the little darlings can go to work on it with a screwdriver and a blowtorch. What`s worrying is the disclaimer on the back of the case, "…Any child handling it should be closely supervised. In the event of the liquid in the pouch coming into contact with the eyes wash immediately with water…" Just what is this stuff?

Conclusion

Oh well. On the bright side, it`s only 47 minutes long. Unfortunately, it`s an interminable 47 minutes. This retelling of the Scrooge fable is dull, uninspiring and lacks any sort of panache, wit or originality. The animation is clinical, and the vocal performances do nothing to lift it out of sterility. This is just a rote recitation of the Scrooge tale, sanitised enough not to scare the youngest of children who may watch this. (In other words, Tiny Tim doesn`t die in the alternate future)

On the other hand, this is A Christmas Carol, and you would have to actually be anti-talented to make an unwatchable version of the story. It hits all the right emotional notes and beats (if not very rhythmically), and while at the end of the story, my cockles may not have been warmed; one of them was at least lightly stewed.

This version of A Christmas Carol adds nothing to the pantheon of yuletide redemption stories, and is best suited to an audience that doesn`t know any better. So if you have young children who you want to be entranced by the pretty images for 45 minutes while you peel some sprouts, this would do the trick. For more discerning children, then there is always Disney`s version of the story for that heart-warming Christmas feeling. If you actually want entertainment on the other hand, there is always the sublime Muppet version.

Finally, bright pristine plasticky CGI, and spooky ghosts don`t go together.