Review of WWE: Unforgiven 2004

Introduction

I used to love wrestling. Not the English variety mind, with the likes of Big Daddy, Kendo Nagasaki and Giant Haystacks sweating of a Saturday lunchtime while Dickie Davies had his quiff buffed. No, I used to love the American variety filled with larger than life characters, Hollywood style mega-budget antics, in front of stadiums large enough to seat tens of thousands. I used to like WWF, before those pansy-assed, sissy, hamster-loving tree huggers decided to sue (Sorry about that, but there`s a certain mindset to uphold here). Yes, I used to love wrestling. When I was 12.

Now that I`ve grown up, the sight of WWE Unforgiven on my doormat, 3 hours of sweaty man grappling action fails to engender any real excitement in me. Unforgiven took place on September 12, 2004, and this disc contains the whole programme of events, the interviews, the analysis, the commentary and most importantly the bouts. Four World Wrestling Entertainment titles were up for grabs, and headlining the bill was the match between Randy Orton and Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship. Chris Jericho battled Christian for the vacant Intercontinental Belt, Trish Stratus and Victoria fought for the Women`s Championship, and La Resistance faced off against Rhyno and Tajiri for the Tag Team Belt. In addition two grudge matches were on the bill, Shawn Michaels vs. Kane and Chris Benoit & William Regal vs. Batista and Ric Flair. In the words of PJ and Duncan, Let`s Get Ready To Rhumble.

Video

A 4:3 regular picture doesn`t do anything to elevate the experience beyond watching it on television. It`s low-resolution broadcast quality American television, prone to pixellation and looking as if it has been sourced from the digital broadcast, rather than going to the original broadcast tapes. The sight of a WWE logo in the bottom corner of the screen for the duration of the programme does little to dissuade me of the notion. All that are missing are the adverts.

Audio

A simple DD 2.0 stereo track, the dialogue is clear and you can hear the commentators wet themselves in excitement at crucial moments during the proceedings in perfect stereo. It`s wrestling, so expect loads of thrash metal to introduce the heroes and villains of the evening. All perfunctorily accomplished. Unforgiven`s theme is provided by a group called Saliva, but all the naughty words are edited out though.

Features

The running time on the case states 174 minutes. This takes into account the additional material as well so it may not be totally accurate to count them as extraneous to the main programme, but I`ll mention them here anyway.

The main menu is animated, and you get the full 4 minutes of Saliva`s magnum opus playing in the background, it`s still edited though.

There are promos for Unforgiven, and interviews with the WWE characters taken from the WWE Heat programme, which usually precedes the main event on satellite channels. These add to the flavour and drama of the proceedings. Also on the disc is an extra bout between Maven and Rodney Mack, also taken from WWE Heat.

This is one of those discs that go into a stream of advertising as soon as the disc is placed in the player. Fortunately it is skippable.

Conclusion

"It`s fake!" as Dr Scratch`n`sniff suicidally exclaimed in an episode of the Animaniacs. Which is beside the point really, as if any of the injuries that wrestlers appear to inflict on each other were real, then wrestling would be the most fatal sport on the planet. Indeed the disc begins with a strongly worded warning aimed at those who may wish to achieve a Darwin award for stupidity, not to attempt this sort of thing at home. It doesn`t detract from the fact that professional wrestlers are amazingly disciplined, athletic and well trained. They are the best at what they do, and most of all, they are outstanding showmen. Professional wrestling in the United States is a multi-million dollar entertainment industry, a hi-tech circus that tours the country endlessly, playing rock concert like gigs in towns and cities all over the US in front of enthralled crowds. It`s gone beyond grappling now, as the modern wrestler has to be an actor as well, has to memorise lines and deliver them on cue. We get to know these characters, their behind the scenes relationships, the rivalries and jealousies that motivate them. Wrestling today is body-slamming soap opera, it`s gladiatorial combat writ large for the 21st Century.

Personally, I find it all a bit childish. Like all experiences tinged gold with nostalgia, wrestling isn`t what it used to be. I look back fondly on the days of Andre the Giant, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Macho Man Randy Savage, Jake The Snake and The Ultimate Warrior with fondness. But judging by this disc, wrestling is in a state of decline at the moment, or at the least in a slump. There are no electrifying characters to entertain. Many people will know what a Hulkamaniac is, many will have "smelt what The Rock is cooking", but in Unforgiven, the headline bout, features Triple H, a man most noticeable for having a beard, spitting atmospherically, and possessing an amazing talent to bleed on cue. Even the commentators are less than memorable, J.R., a man so obese that when he speaks he looks like he`s dubbing himself, and an man whose name I forgot drive the commentators desk. They`re a pale shadow of Jesse `The Body` Ventura and Mean Gene from the eighties.

Wrestling has always been an arena for petty bigotry, where fans could vent their frustrations at ethnically derived characters that represent the fears of the day. I suppose this was the one area of the business that I found distasteful, and there would usually be a Japanese tag team for the crowd to boo at. This time around, there is La Resistance, a French Canadian tag team who insist on singing the Canadian national anthem, badly, that`s two ethnic minorities for the price of one. There is also Kane, a Red Menace. It seems they have forgotten that the Cold War is over. I was surprised not to see a Taliban tag team, or The Iraqi Invader, but I suppose that they`re on another bill.

The biggest problem with this disc is the 18 rating. The BBFC in their inestimable wisdom are cracking down on imitable techniques. They don`t want people copying wrestling moves in their back yards and inadvertently killing someone. It`s an understandable sentiment, but this disc, and most other wrestling discs are strictly kids stuff, designed to appeal to the teenaged market most of all. If you watch this disc, you`ll hear that all but the mildest profanity has been removed, and the violence is exaggerated to such a degree to appear cartoonish.

The bouts in WWE Unforgiven are enough to get the blood pumping, but the lack of electrifying characters means that the excitement isn`t there to as great a degree. The excess of soap opera between the bouts, and having to put up with some atrocious acting makes you glad for the chapter skip. There isn`t much to distinguish this disc from the experience of watching it on television. Indeed, if you have Sky+ and an interest in wrestling, check your hard drive, you may still have Unforgiven on there.