Review of Dark Angel

Introduction

I often look back on the 1980s with a sense of nostalgia. I might have mentioned that before in passing in one or two other reviews. What others consider as the decade that taste forgot, I remember fondly. Big hair and bad fashion aside, this was also the era that provided much of my favourite entertainment. These were the days when weekends and weeknights were filled with escapist fantasies about soldiers for hire, talking cars, supersonic helicopters and digital superheroes. Soap operas were big, although not as big as the ten-gallon hats the characters wore, and reality television was still a glint in Satan`s eye. Cinema was in a state of decline though, courtesy of the video recorder. I was recently shocked to learn that the UK cinema attendances for The Terminator were less than 500,000, a film generally regarded as one of the best to come from the 80s. This was the decade that `straight to video` became common part of the English language. This was a time that producers didn`t worry about censorship and BBFC or MPAA ratings. There was never a need to trim a head-butt or erase a nipple, and an R or 18 rating didn`t signal the death knell of a movie`s profits. Gratuitous sex and violence were a prerequisite for an action movie, and the world was a better place for it. Straight to video releases came thick and fast, in a far greater volume than cinema could ever handle. It truly was the media for the B-movie, and lesser action stars found their niche in hundreds of identikit films with identikit plots. Where there was Conan, there was Steel Dawn, Beastmaster and Red Sonja. Where there was Terminator, there was Cyborg and so on. Dark Angel was made as the decade came to an end, and typifies the decade, an amalgam of various genres, made on the cheap and with little care given to the script, the acting or the production values. It is perhaps the quintessential straight to video title.

It`s Christmas and there`s a visitor high above the rooftops. It isn`t Santa though, but a UFO that is about to crash in the city. From the wreckage emerges a seven-foot tall, longhaired, white-eyed alien, claiming to "Come in peace" Meanwhile cop Jack Caine is on a stakeout as his partner attempts to complete a sting on a vicious drug dealer. It all goes sour though, as Jack is distracted by a convenience store robbery, and the dealer turns the tables on Jack`s partner, killing him and stealing the money. As the dealer leaves, the peace loving alien shows up, slaughters the remaining heavies and steals the heroin. Jack arrives to find the carnage and his dead partner. Soon his boss is chewing him out and threatening to put him on suspension. Jack is determined to avenge his partner though, but finds himself teamed up with straight-laced FBI agent Smith. As he and Smith try and track down the dealer, they soon realise that evidence points to extra-terrestrial involvement. Soon bodies are turning up all over the city, dying of massive overdoses as their brains are being sucked dry. Then another UFO crashes.

Video

If I mention the words MGM, Back and Catalogue, you`ll no doubt surmise what is about to come. We delve into the realms of mundanity as I once again struggle to put into words just how average the transfer is. Actually this one is a little below average, as besides the usual print damage and grain, the transfer is indeed a little low resolution, taking the straight to video origins a little too literally. There are a few artefacts, with some macro blocking and with flesh tones looking a little plasticky. This particularly affects darker scenes.

Audio

Where the 1950s was the era where studios played with aspect ratios in their search for the ultimate Cinemascope, the 80s meant pretty much the same thing for sound as studios experimented with new ways of damaging the hearing of audiences en masse. Dark Angel was recorded in Ultra Stereo. Not that it matters as on this disc, you get a choice of DD 2.0 Surround English or DD 2.0 mono German, French and Spanish. The surround is none too noticeable, but the action is adequately reproduced and the dialogue, woeful as is it is, is clear throughout. The music is provided by Jan Hammer, eighties fans. Subtitles are provided in English, German, French, Spanish and Norwegian.

Features

Kuchnee is Panjabi for nothing (The u in `kuch` sounds like the u in `bush`). You can`t say this site isn`t educational.

Conclusion

Dark Angel is one of those films that come along rarely, a film so bad that it is thoroughly enjoyable. I put my brain into neutral last night and just coasted along with this piece of eighties foolishness, and I found that I was thoroughly entertained. The script is atrocious, the acting is unmentionable and the dialogue so painful that you`ll want to throw popcorn at the screen, but put together it works. I`m hard pressed to explain why, as this film is also cliché heaven. Moody loner cop loses partner and gets shouted at by a foul-mouthed superior, does it seem familiar yet? Perhaps if I add that he`s having relationship problems with his girlfriend, who also happens to be a coroner, or perhaps the new partner is the diminutive, straight-laced, FBI agent who also doubles for comic relief, and they can`t help but despise each other from the first, yet inexplicably form a strong friendship.

While most of the performances are forgettable, Dolph Lundgren is better than most of his peers when it comes to the acting stakes, and here he gets the heroic name, Jack Caine, the girl, and to kick alien butt. It`s Brian Benben who shines as his new partner Larry Smith. The size discrepancy is one thing, but he also manages to create an interesting character where a generic sidekick would have sufficed, and the film is all the better for it. He also gets the bigger gun.

Dark Angel may be a light piece of derivative fluff, but it has a verve and pace to it that actually make it compelling to watch. If that isn`t enough fun for you, there is always the yuppie mafia, or the climax that sees Dolph battling against a evil, relentless, animated washing line. Dark Angel is fun. It is pure cheese. It`s cheese on a stick. It`s cheese on a stick with a pineapple chunk.