Review of House Of 1000 Corpses

Introduction

I like horror films. I like the kind that really, really scares. As an impressionable youngster I saw An American Werewolf in London and to date I have a soft spot for this as it scared the pants off me. I`ll never be caught in a deserted London Underground station, ever. Evil Dead, Hellraiser and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are amongst my favourite horror films, but alas the recent spate of so called slick `horror` films such as Scream or Jeepers Creepers just don`t do it for me. Call me old fashioned, but a decent horror film can`t really be anything other than 18 rated for starters. Can it?

With mass horror genre disenchantment I thought the page had turned when Rob Zombie`s House of 1000 Corpses was finally finished and ready. At last, something bizarre, twisted and 18 rated. With influences such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, could this be the revival I was waiting for? The hype last summer certainly kept me thinking it was. Nope, not even close.

Video

Presented with a 1.85:1 widescreen enhanced video transfer, House of 1000 Corpses looks surprisingly good. I was expecting something more akin an extremely low budget affair so was pleased with this. The 70s production design is spot on with the imitation The Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibe in play. Colours are rendered well, including neon`s and the garish reds and blues without signs of bleed. If you look too closely you`ll notice detail is a little soft, but it`s not a problem, and makes the film feel low rent. I couldn`t spot any problems with the transfer; there was little or no dirt around.

Audio

Apart from the DTS 5.1 and Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtracks, you get an isolated music score and an audio commentary. This is a pleasant surprise seeing as the US release doesn`t even have the DTS track. The DTS track sounds marginally livelier than the Dolby Digital one, but it`s a close run thing, which begs the question why bother? Dialogue can sound a bit uneven and muffled in places and sadly there are no subtitles to pick up the pieces.

Features

Tiresome animated menus with a fair amount of extras:

• Making Of Featurette (4:15) - A 4-minute PR piece, this featurette barely touches the surface as we get little sound bites from the cast and crew.

• Behind The Scenes (2:37) - A man and his DV camera shooting freely on location. Why only 2.5 minutes?

• Director Commentary - A comprehensive commentary from Rob Zombie; he talks about the cast, crew, the scenes and the production in general. He`s someone clearly good at talking which makes this commentary very easy to listen to. This was something I enjoyed more than the film itself.

• Tiny F*cked a Stump (3:08) - Crap knock knock jokes with Captain Spalding, Otis and Baby Firefly. A pointless and unfunny extra...

• Casting (2:06) - This is the casting tape for Dennis Fimple who plays Grandpa Hugo. I was expecting a few more characters rather than just the one.

• Trailers - Early Teaser Trailer (1:16), Theatrical Trailer (1:52) and Radio Spot (1:02). What you`ve come to expect from trailers these days, i.e. spoiler ridden.

• Still Gallery - Stills of the cast and crew in front of and behind the camera. Some interesting pics though once seen, won`t be seen again.

• Rehearsals - Bill Mosely and Jennifer Jostyn (3:31) , Rainn Wilson, Chris Hardwick and Erin Daniels (0:46), Chris Hardwick and Erin Daniels (0:52). Rehearsal footage of three scenes. Nothing particularly interesting.

• Interviews - Bill Mosely (4:30), Sid Haig (5:43), Sheri Moon (1:33), Wayne Toth (3:33), Billy Chainsaw with Rob Zombie (18:43). The final interview with Zombie himself is a region 2 exclusive and is the best interview here. He talks about his childhood and film influences, which I found interesting enough. The others are short with the interviews more like direct Q&A. Questions are captions onscreen with the cast or crew giving a response. There are some interesting musings but not a great deal.

Sadly there are no subtitles.

Conclusion

As a horror pastiche, House of 1000 Corpses clearly had potential. Its horror film influences are very clear and it`s admirable that someone such as Rob Zombie wants to make the kind of horror film that he loves without having to pamper to a juvenile Scream crowd, but this film fails miserably and doesn`t entertain.

Sadly it declines into utter boredom in the last 30 or so minutes, feeling rushed, lost and a complete mish-mash of unoriginality. It`s not in the least bit scary either, though it tried hard with some surreal images and blood. I wasn`t convinced though.

The film is dull with its trite dialogue striking a mundane chord from the beginning. This sets the tone of the humour for the rest of the film and if you didn`t find a laugh at the start, you`re not going to find any anywhere else. In fact, I found my mind wondering off counting loose change in the last 20-minutes. Nobody really cares about what`s happening or what`s going to happen. Death of the teens is inevitable, which is a good thing as they were annoying. This isn`t the film I was expecting. Horror fans will no doubt want to check it out just out of curiosity.