Review of Mummy Returns, The (2 disc set)

Introduction

Given that the hokey, Indy-lite antics of the original ‘Mummy’ proved to be one of Universal’s biggest cash-cows in recent memory, it’s unsurprising that the sequel would be hurried into production. And yes, its arrival is ushered in with all the subtlety of an 8.5 earthquake. The entire cast return in a story set 9 years after the original film, where Evie (Rachel Weisz) and Rick (Brendan Fraser) have popped out a belligerent brat (Freddie Boath in Cute Kid in Peril mode) and find themselves back in the sands of Egypt, up to their arses in all sorts of tomb-raiding mumbo-jumbo while dodging the likes of Arnold Vosloo’s ancient mummy Imhotep (dull) and his spicy bit of rough Patricia Velazquez (yummy.) Cue frequent gun-battles, sword-fights, banal mysticism and an overload of computer generated effects from huge sentient tidal waves to hordes of rampaging dog-warriors.

Video

Obviously great. For a film that spends most of its duration in dark corridors, moonlit jungles and assorted pitch-black locations, this transfer was always going to be a tricky one to get perfect. And perfect it very nearly is. Amazingly, the slightly dodgey CGI looks okay on the small screen and the dark colours are rich in detail and there are no visible flaws or blemishes.

Audio

An extraordinarily cluttered 5.1 soundtrack focuses heavily on Alan Silvestri’s over-bearing score (although it is strong during the percussive fight scenes). There’s a wide variety of different effects that make use of the rear channels, so there’s plenty to exercise your surround setup here.

Features

Despite this release’s double-disc pretensions, this is a weak show of extras: the commentary with writer/director Stephen Sommers and editor/executive producer Bob Ducsay is bumbling and patronizing, the duo washing over every one of the film’s plot-holes and structural faux-pas with a smug “it’s supposed to be fun” line in unreflective condescension. Similarly the Making Of documentary is the usual glorified love-in, failing to deliver any insight into what is clearly a massive and complex production.

The special-effects breakdowns are too brief to be anything but a superficial overview, and are broken up into annoying, artificial 30-second skits. A hilariously pointless interview with The Rock and a preview for the forth-coming spin-off ‘The Scorpion King’ provide a modicum of interest, as do a nice collection of outtakes and a completely inappropriate ‘Live’ music video. Rounding it all off are some DVD-ROM features, the theatrical trailer and the usual cast/crew notes. The inclusion of an ‘Egyptology 201’ section and a weird video tour of the Universal Studios new `Mummy` themed attraction make absolutely no argument for their existence.

Conclusion

A hectic reheat of the blockbusting original that trades in what plot and character existed to begin with in favor of gratuitous sensation and endless action sequences (precisely what people watch these sorts of movies for then?) In this regard, it’s easily a better movie than the original, with better set-pieces and bad guys (a horde of pygmy mummies are quite possibly the nastiest little bastards ever to grace a family film; although it is slightly worrying that they have more personality than the rest of the cast.) The sequel has also ditched the original film’s uneven tone for a confident air of unrelenting heroic gusto, giving it an assuredness that at least ensures it is watchably inept. The performances, such as they are, are better too: Weisz is more suited in the spunky tough-gal role than she was as a cowering book-worm in the original, Oded Fehr and ‘Oz’s Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje do what they can to inject some class and genuine humor into the proceedings.

What is less appealing is the continued embrace of a po-faced ironic self-regard: with its endlessly self-reflexive back & forth banter, commenting on the film’s shameless embrace of the hammiest Hollywood cliches, the film seems to not only not require a participatory audience, but resent their attendance. It’s a lazy conceit that a film’s ability to call attention to its own faults somehow deletes the fault itself, if anything, ‘The Mummy Returns’ proves that pointing out the generic traps and then subsequently embracing them gives the film an even more derivative aura.

It’s fair to say that if the first film was up your alley, this one will be to, as it delivers all the goods of the first film in a more attractive and assured package. But to me it still feels like a lazy wannabe compared to the films it clearly aspires to, with none of the scrappy charm of Ray Harryhausen or the Indiana Jones series. ‘The Mummy Returns’ represents Hollywood’s current preoccupation with battering the audience into a dazed passivity. Was it a good movie? Don’t ask me, I can scarcely remember anything but the onslaught of ‘busy’ imagery, cloying sentimentality, meaningless ironic punning and that exhausting, haze-inducing score.