The Watermen

Introduction

Each year hundreds of people disappear at sea without a trace. Where do they go? Do they end up as food for the fishes? Well, yes actually…

Rich spoiled kid Trailor (Jason Mewes) sets up a deep-sea fishing trip with his close friends, brothers Mike (Luke Guldan) and Bret (Tyler Johnson) plus a few girls he pulled (with his wallet). Trailor and chums soon find that things are not as great as they anticipated when they suddenly find all their on-board electrics down, the engine blown and no flares or walkie talkies to signal for help. Stranded in the Atlantic with no water or food, all seems hopeless.

The appearance of a fishing ship signals rescue and the end of plight, or does it?

The fishing party take water from their would-be rescuers, only to find that it's drugged and they all end up out cold. Next thing we're on fishermen's island where the dastardly Watermen of the title have plans to chop them all up and sell the remains as lucrative bait to fishing parties like the one they were part of.

Mike and Bret, though, are not going to take this lying down and promptly escape and make plans to rescue their friends, although Mike is only really interested in ex-girlfriend Diane (Tara Heston)…

Visual

Far too many establishing/tracking shots that just slow down the pace of the film and add absolutely nothing to the proceedings. There is a vast contrast in the production design with the crisp, clean and bright world of the teenagers to the more gritty and visceral environment inhabited by our dastardly villains.

Extras

Just a trailer…

Overall

As the global recession bites ever deeper, old and established communities like the fishermen (or watermen if you prefer) find their already hard and destitute lifestyles getting even harder. In true horror convention, the way to subsidise this economic downturn is to kill people and sell their flesh to fishermen as bait.

The problem with this film is that it's effectively aimed at the teen market so there's a bit of gratuitous nudity and some hinted-at girl on girl action but hardly any gore at all - so not really a horror that will appeal to those who like their films bloody. And it's pretty generic stuff really.
One of the main problems is with the Watermen villains in that they are not only completely indestructible, but they also mumble incomprehensibly in thick Southern accents. This doesn't really make them that scary, especially as they're a bit mucky with straggly beards and sunken eyes, dressed in wellies and dirty bright luminous sou'westers with oilskin trousers. Overall it's hard to take them seriously when all I'm reminded of are old fishermen from Scooby Doo.

The message of the film appears to be that people will do what they need to in order to survive and that everyone is essentially a sinner and will justify their sins in order to absolve their guilt - whether the sins are big or small. It's kind of lost though when delivered in a ham-fisted way by Richard Riehle, who is normally one of dependable bit-part actors. Still, he's not helped by the script which contains drivel as dialogue and the rest of the cast who deliver the drivel in a rather wooden way.

I'm sure that this film will find an audience with young teens who want a bit of a scare, and I guess this is who the film is aimed at, and laugh at some ugly stereotypes. Just not for me…