Dead Cert

Britain has a long and fairly prestigious history of making vampire movies with those starring Christopher Lee and made by the Hammer Studio as probably the most famous of all of them. This moderately budgeted film involves another genre with which Britain has a rich history: the gangster movie and intertwines the two into something that I had never seen before. As the tagline says though, there are two types of underworld and this one merges the Cockney gangster movie with a modern vampire flick.

Dead Cert follow small-time East end gangster Freddie Frankham, nicknamed 'Dead Cert', who throws everything into the purchase of a nightclub which he has refurbished and renamed 'Paradise' before the grand opening. What should be one of the proudest nights of his life becomes something a little troublesome when one of his associates brings a guest to the party. If this was just an ordinary friend then there really wouldn't be much to worry about, but the guest is no ordinary friend but a feared Romanian gangster and drug dealer cult Dante Livienko who wants to own the club.

Unbeknownst to Frankham, the club stands on the site of a Black Church which was the base of a group of Eastern European vampires who were driven out of England in the 17th century by emissaries of the Vatican following the Great Fire of London. It turns out the head of this group of vampires, known as The Wolf, is back and posing as a gangster called Dante Livienko. When Livienko comes to Frankham with a proposition, a bet on the outcome of a fight between their two best bareknuckle boxers and if Livienko's man wins then the Romanian gets the club. If Frankham's fighter wins, then Livienko has to give him $2 million. As the club is Frankham's pride and joy and everything that he has worked for, he really should say no but $2 million is an awful lot of money and he trusts his fighter, Dennis Christian, to beat just about every man who dares stand in front of him so agrees to the bet.

Predictably enough, Dennis has an off night and is pulverised by the hulking Romanian who finishes him off by biting his neck and killing Dennis so Franco must hand over the keys and deeds to the club. Livienko keeps on most of the dancers, but turns them into prostitutes as well as pole dancers but redecorate the club and renames it 'Inferno'.


Frankham had constantly being approached by a seemingly half crazed man called Kenneth Mason who had been yelling grave warnings about vampires, that 'they' are coming and that his life is in danger. As the man was hardly the most measures of profits, Frankham ignored him but, once his club had fallen into foreign ownership, he decided to see what Mason had to say. Giving Frankham the back story about how Livienko was formerly known as The Wolf and that he now has a power base in London, Frankham decides to do something about it in order to get his club back.

Gangsters being gangsters, they are not averse to a bit of violence and if that involves shoving wooden stakes through people's hearts, beheadings and basically beating the s*** out of them then this is one way to relieve all that anger and frustration from being cheated by an undead Romanian.


Most of the cast in Dead Cert will be familiar to anyone who has seen in films like The Football Factory, Rise of the Footsoldier and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels as it is led by Craig Fairbrass (who seems as if he was born to play an East End thug) and has supporting roles from the likes of Dexter Fletcher, Steven Berkoff, Billy Murray, Jason Flemying and, in an uncredited cameo, Danny Dyer. In order to fill the quota of East End actors, there are also decent sized roles for Perry Benson and Ricky Grover, known to most as Bulla. The only actor who I hadn't seen in a British film was Lisa McAllister whose biggest role was probably in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and she does a pretty good job as Frankham's sister-in-law.

I really got the feeling that the filmmakers knew what they wanted to make but weren't exactly sure how to go about it so the film ended up being slightly schizophrenic being both a gangster movie and a vampire film but neither of them at the same time -- the two genres just didn't gel and it was a little like watching a horror-comedy that is neither scary nor funny yet you can see comedic and horrific elements. This really isn't a terrible film and there are elements that are very interesting and could have been developed further at the expense of other parts of the film which would have made it far more involving but I'm afraid it just didn't do it for me.

The Disc

Extra Features
There is a commentary which features Craig Fairbrass, Lisa McAllister, Billy Murray and producer/writer Jonathan Sothcott. They all seem to have a great time watching the film again and do impart some information about casting, locations and the shoot and how rushed some scenes had to be as they were really working against the clock.

The making of is a decent enough featurette, clocking in at 30 minutes and featuring interviews with most of the cast and crew together with a lot of B-roll footage and showing you how the stunts and fights were choreographed and executed.

There is also a trailer.


The Picture
For a film that was made with a moderate budget, it looks extremely good with very fine SFX make-up and prosthetics for the vampire effects and high detail levels in the low light scenes. Colours, skin tones and contrast levels are generally pleasing and it seems as if the members of the crew responsible for locations knew where to shoot in order to get the best atmosphere.

The Sound
The Dolby Digital 2.0 soundtrack is very clear, presenting the dialogue extremely well although there were a couple of exchanges when the subtitles came in handy given the dialogue and thick East End accent. When it comes to the action sequences, the lack of surround speakers is a bit of a shame as they would have really help to make the fights as visceral as possible and you would have been able to hear water dripping from around the room when the sprinkler system goes off at the end of the film. Even so, with my amp filtering the sound through Pro Logic IIx, the simulated rear surround makes this a pretty good soundstage.


Final Thoughts
Dead Cert is marketed as a horror film which meets a gangster film and it is certainly more of the latter than the former with very little vampire action until the third act. Rather ambitiously, the film also leaves the door wide open for a sequel and, although I wouldn't rule one out, I wouldn't say that one was desperately needed either. The film is certainly watchable enough as long as you don't go in with sky high expectations of seeing the finest British film in several decades.